Woah to 2

WE ARE HAVING ANOTHER BABY *klaxon*

We're going to be a family of 4. Two children. A second spud due for arrival in September. Woah.

I still find it quite mind blowing that my husband and I coped (?!) with the secrecy of those early pregnancy days, whilst our first born was having the worst health experiences of his little life so far. Such a dramatic overlap.

The six weeks of knowing there's a new human growing, but weren't yet scanned and in the 'safe zone', all the while being tested in ways that you hope to never be tested as a parent... I found that really tough. My emotions went through the ringer; wanting to do everything for my son yet trying to stay calm for the unborn. I wanted to shout from the rooftops that we were expecting another child, so please bear with me if I seem wildly overemotional. And yes I would like some gas and air in the ambulance, thank you please. However, we had to make sure our son was all right and another few weeks of sshing about the bab wouldn't hurt. Now we've been scanned. We've seen the tiny spud. My rooftop shouting can really take off.

We actually found out we were expecting the day before our son's first seizure episode. Talk about highs and lows in a condensed space of time! But due to terrible period maths on my part, I had no idea how pregnant I was. I did guessing based on whether I took multiple tampons to my Christmas do - even with that, I wasn't sure if that meant I was nearly finished or had just come on? So in short. No. I don't know when my last period was. I just knew that the four different tests all suggested that there wasn't going to be another period anytime soon. All sticks pointed to POSITIVE.

It was all very surreal because that technically meant that we were going to be parents of two. Jesus. The toddler terrible twos are very much a thing we're in the middle of - so what happens when you have a toddler and a newborn?! I once heard the phrase that when it comes to multiple children, two is a zoo. And there we were... positively pregnant with a second. Zoo, here we come.

Did the relevant admin with the midwife and got booked in for our dating scan. We were so close to being able to tell people (as long as all was well) and I could sense the anticipation of no longer having to dress in a sack and walk like Quasi Modo to hide the bump. Yet as I mentioned with my bad period maths, our scan meant we were actually only 10 weeks pregnant. So not able to officially announce the second bab - and equally not pregnant enough to have the first set of screenings, either. This also meant another due date after measuring the little thing. Back in two and a bit weeks to do the proper dating scan then!

The longest two weeks of all time, yet there we sat, looking at the new bean on the screen. I cried. I've felt so emotional this whole pregnancy - not sure if it's because of the timings/circumstances around when we found out? Or that my awareness has heightened with regards to pregnancy not going the way it's supposed to. It's most likely a combination of all, but at least I had the take home from that appointment that our new bean was doing well. Everything looked as it should. We also had another due date now they could actually measure crown to rump...it's a late September baby! (Minus a week or so due to elective c-section so my arse doesn't fall out in pushing, thank you Crohn's). So yes, now we can tell friends and family the good news. I can be preg and proud.

I'm so pleased that I took the time to blog every week when pregnant beforehand - and despite my slack writing since then - I have decided to do it again with this bab. I'm currently 15+6, my turn of the weeks being on a Wednesday. I want to document all the iddy biddy feelings and share how different (or not) they are from the first time round. And I'm going to try and be a trendy mum-to-be with an outfit post each week too. Because my word, this bab has popped right out. Muscle memory, or whatever it is... I don't know how I'm going to dress this speedy bump. Unitards? Tents? I'll be sure to share the weekly outcomes regardless.

X

10 Year Challenge

You may have been aware of the latest internet craze called the #10yearchallenge? Essentially a then and now (or at least a 'then') from 2009. Why someone felt 2019 was the year to look back from is beyond me? Surely 2020 would have been better, as a multiple of 10. Or maybe I'm just thinking too much about this.

Anyway. I hopped on the bandwagon on this drizzly Wednesday, after many a day of scrolling through various social media platforms seeing people's throwback to a decade ago. Glow ups, etc. Lovely time. And I put up a picture of me from ten years ago.

But it wasn't until I started looking through my own photos properly from 2009 that it dawned on me: I've been having my own 10 year challenge. January 2009 was the month I got diagnosed with Crohn's. 2009 was the year that what I thought I knew of my health was all change for forever more. A whole decade of diagnosed IBD.

I pretty much spent all of my 20s - in one way or another - poorly. In hospital. Lying down because it hurt to get up. Sleeping on a narcoleptic level. Fat. Thin. Steroid moonface. Taking medication. Injecting medication. Having an IV for medication. Keyhole surgery. Robot surgery. Slice me open surgery. Hospital admissions. Inpatient. Outpatient. Too many perianal abscesses to mention. Too many visits to a toilet. Too many medical professionals looking up my asshole.

In January 2009 I was presented with a challenge I didn't know I'd have to face; a challenge that had mini-challenges en route. But Jesus Christ it has absolutely been the making of me.

And here we are now! Yes OK, I'm like 17 operations in (who's counting?!) But I am in my 30s. Married. Mama. Now a homeowner (what a palaver that was - will pick up that topic of convo another time). Back working on a magazine portfolio that I love so much. Things are actually really good! And I'm so happy that everything finally seems to be falling into place for me and mine.

Sure, I still have to do an assessment of where all toilets are if I'm out for a family walk. Or there might be times where Mummy just needs to have a quick powernap before we watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for the 6th time that day. There might also be times - like now - when I'm sitting on a train and I catch my reflection in the window and it's apparent that my tired bags have developed their own bags. Eye bags on eye bags. It's quite a look and I don't think any form of makeup layering is going to help this face out.

I don't mind you see, because besides being rather tired, I am content. I have spent three days in London doing meetings and what not for work and it brings me joy. But not as much joy as stepping off the train to be greeted by my husband and son will bring me. My boys. My little team.

To be honest...I'm not sure where this blog post is going. Am I waffling? I just knew that I had to take a moment to acknowledge the ol' decade long anniversary of knowing my insides were broken. And that however shit things might have seemed at times, it works itself out. Ish*

Here's to the next ten years.

X

*I mean nothing is a guarantee. But all in all, I guess if you can find the positives where possible and then just ensure to have a ruddy good time?

PS: I'm running out of sentences to apologise for my MIA blogging. I do get annoyed with myself that it's so infrequent. But I guess it's going to have to be as and when, probably the best way forward. So until next time...(whenever that is!)

Who Am I?

It seems my blogging hiatuses are getting wildly out of hand. Over seven months this time. Maybe you're wondering who I even am? It's been so long!

I suppose my main reason for the break was to focus on getting better from the crazy flare I had over Winter, and to try and get back to 'normal' with regards to routine in both work and home. And I got there! Ish. I mean, I've been back at work properly since February and am also now in the depths of trying to buy a house which can go on to become my home.

Whenever I have a break from writing it's always quite a challenge for me to get back on that hypothetical bike; there's always that moment of WHAT IF NOBODY WANTS TO READ THIS ANYMORE?! Yet I've decided that actually, that's fine. Because I know I find writing therapeutic. I know I enjoy sharing my thoughts.

So for anyone that is reading/cares, brief summary of (essentially) 2018 thus far:

• Back working full time
• Been a wife for nearly eleven months
• Off all meds to try and reset my body/see what state it's left in
• Turned 30
• Continued to watch my son become the funniest little human 
• Trying to buy a house

I don't know if it's because I've had a milestone birthday?? But I've done a lot of thinking this year. And more recently in particular, I've done a lot of thinking about what direction I want my writing to go.

I think I've mentioned it before, in that this obviously began as a way for me to talk about my Crohn's and was started at a time where I was due the largest operation I'd had. I was shit scared. I didn't know what lay ahead, but I was already aware of the duff hand I'd been dealt re my health. Time passed, I blogged about the arse situations my body had thrown at me - and I'd like to think that on the whole I coped (!) with it all rather well. Then I had a reassessment of here blog and decided Hattie, etc. was the way forward. I was more than my Crohn's. And I wanted this platform to be a representation of that. The natural progression was to then write about being preg - which honestly, I look back at all my posts from when I was that first-time mama-to-be and I am so so glad I wrote as often as I did. Things that for the life of me, I cannot remember happening, yet I have all my thoughts and feelings sitting there in this hub to relive.

That then leads me to now, though. Not pregnant. Still very much an active Crohn's patient. Where do I go from here? What do I write about? What do I have to say?

There are things that have happened that quite frankly I would have loved to have written about so openly, but as with anything...time and a place...and often it's not the right time. Or necessarily the right place. It can be a challenge to work through life's hurdles anyway, let alone when you get bad news; or terribly sad news; or news that you would just rather have on another day when you feel like you can deal with it better.

One thing I've learnt as I've got older (and also since I've become a mother), is that there are a lot of things that I have no control over - try as I might - but it's how I deal with situations, which will help shape me as a person. Who I am as a mum. Who I am at work. Who I am as an individual. Who I am as a wife. Who I am within my family. Who I am as a friend.

And maybe that's what I write about now? Who I am. Who actually am I?

I'm not promising any fantastic content that will provide you with endless laughs or equally all the tears. But as I delve deeper into my 30s I plan on writing as many of my experiences as I go: family holidays, being a mother to a glorious little boy, tales of being a wife, buying a family home and the subsequent interior design (FINALLY. Time to release my inner Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen *puts on a pussybow blouse with a fluted sleeve*) And maybe also for that one day in the future when I'm a mama-to-be again. Perhaps even some of my outfits, whilst I'm at it.

Because that's who I am. I am all of those things. I am like a human dodecahedron and I want to write all about it.

X

Dancing Humbug

First Year

One full year since we welcomed our little boy into the world. And now we're parents to an already independent, chatty, funny little boy who has (somehow) managed to use his eyebrows to express his feelings - in context - since the day he arrived.

I say it every year, but this last year has been one of the quickest in my life. It has also been simultaneously one of the most rewarding and challenging.

Let's take it back to the start...

Anyone that followed my blog previously will have read the journey we went on throughout my pregnancy with regards to my Crohn's. Around this time last year it was my elective c-section date; elective due to previous abdominal Crohn's operations; c-section so my arse didn't fall out when pushing. Our bags were packed and off we headed to the hospital on the Friday morning ready to have a baby by lunchtime. And we did! Everything went as planned as it can and we were home by the Sunday. A weekend of new baby.

How that was a year ago is utterly beyond me. Even when looking at photos, it still doesn't quite compute that I've been pregnant, had a baby and now he's one.

But it's times like this weekend just gone, at his first birthday party (which let's be honest, he had no clue about, because why would he?!) and seeing him with his little mannerisms and movements, his interactions with others; it's intriguing watching him grow and develop into a proper little boy. How much he's changed over the last few months in particular - so close to walking...a few waddles and then a slow sit down to the floor again - yet you can see that determination there. It's fascinating and it makes me excited for what else is to come as he continues to grow up and become his own person.

Can we just take a moment to discuss a child's first birthday party though? What a strange party to have. The guest of honour is completely unaware of the occasion; it's mainly for photos and the memories for others and to look back and say "this is what we did for your first birthday". Because you can't do nothing, it's their first birthday! First ever celebration of birth! Equally you know that from age 2 and onwards, the parties will be much better... So you do baking in rainbow coloured sponge, you get the pink wafers and party ring biscuits and you display the finger food along side the bottles of squash. And at least I finally had a good reason to eat kids' party food: I was hosting an actual kid's party this time.

But being surrounded by all of our family and friends, it made me ever so thankful and realise how lucky we truly are as our own family to have such wonderful people around us.

Because it gets tough sometimes. Parenting is genuinely all the clichés you get told beforehand. I have learnt so much in what seems like such a short space of time. You are thrown in the deep end and learn on the job as a new parent - each day is different and throws challenges at you - some days are harder than others, but that's ok. The majority of people will have been through it too, at some point. And even if you are doing everything in your power to provide the best for your child, you will still read an article that makes you question how you are as a mummy or daddy, or hear the advice givers and nay-sayers and wonder what more you could be doing. My son makes me proud every day. And I have to know that as his mummy I am doing everything I can for him. And so is his daddy.

Happy First Birthday Son.
We love you very much.

X

All New

*I've amended the heading for my blog, as I'm not sure how long 'new' lasts with regards to being a new mama. And am now no longer wedding planning as I'm a wife. But Crohn's is still ever present. We can talk about that another time perhaps?

Since I last blogged...

• We relocated from London to the Westcountry
• Moved in with the in-laws
• I came off of Maternity Leave and am now a full time working mother
• We got married!
• Had a minimoon, sans son
• It's our son's first birthday

So everything's still a bit new for me.

Having a blogging hiatus seemed slightly more acceptable when I sat back and realised how much change was happening in my life. I also feel that I very much wildly underestimated what the above tasks would entail; in both a physical and mental sense.

We'd covered all major life events in a period of around 8 weeks - never mind the sister-in-law's wedding, cousin's wedding and all the hens and stags in between. I think by the end of October I had decided that 'time' wasn't a thing any more. It didn't exist. It either went way too fast or chunks of time seemed to disappear without warning; not enough hours in the day, etc. etc.

So you're probably thinking, everything seems to have calmed down a bit now - why hop back onto the blogging figurative bicycle and share my thoughts? Well...this is by no means a 'woe is me' post; however I've mentioned before that sometimes slapping the keyboard with my feelings is quite the therapeutic task in itself. I've been thinking a lot about blogging of late - whether it be to help actually process all the change that's gone on, the fact my son is reaching his first birthday milestone and all that it brings with it (parenting highs, lows, challenges and rewards), that my own little family has done a full relocation of living and work, life as a newlywed (and what that even means?!), or that my Crohn's is still a pain in the arse and it bothers me.

I want to post about each of the main topics over the next week or so, as I'm currently signed off work (there's a wee insight into how my Crohn's is doing! *collective sigh*) But having blogged on and off for the last four years, I know when things have been on the tougher side, writing has really helped. Equally when things are on the lovely side, it's really enjoyable to write and share those moments, too.

And what better way to start again, than in two days time when it's our first born's FIRST BIRTHDAY. He's been here a year already. Out of the womb and our bab for a whole 12 months. I still don't feel like I was pregnant long enough to have grown him, let alone see him doing proper human things on his own like an independent chap. But he's here. And he's going to be one this weekend.

For he's a jolly good fellow...

Side note: having had a full life change of geographical location, working situation, my marital status and introduction to parenthood - I'm now trying to work out what Hattie, etc. actually means. So I'll get back to you on that once I've worked out what direction this here blog is going in.

X

Feeling Crafty

Crohn's shenanigans aside, 2017 is the year of the wedding! Best get organising and preparing as a bride-to-be...

First stop of arts and crafts for this mama on mat leave was the Save the Dates. I wanted to make something that wasn't overly time consuming - what with a new baby and all - but was also something I'd be proud to send out to family and friends.

Debated for a good while whether the Save the Dates had to be in the same colour scheme, etc. of the overall wedding stationery - typically they're sent so far in advance that how can you even know what colours you'll have?! But because we had a baby a few months went by (around 9) when all things wedding got parked for the time being. So now we're not actually that far away and have a rough idea of colours and what not...

They're all done and dusted and posted, and I'm really pleased with how they turned out. Should probably point out that I ordered our stamp from The English Stamp Company, along with the maroon/wine coloured inkpad. Dead impressed with the quality of it (also a nice little keepsake as it's got our wedding date on). Will be ordering more stamps from there, for sure - most likely for decorative purposes on other wedding stationery.

But now? It's time to work on the invitations!

I did my research as to what a wedding invitation should include; the actual inviting of the guests, time, date, etc. plus any details and an RSVP. Best route forward (as I wanted to make them all myself still) was to make a wedding bundle; make bits little and often, as again, young baby to look after too. So back to Pinterest for all the inspiration and I think we've finally settled what they'll look like. Give or take creative license.

I'd like to point out that I'm pretty keen for all this stuff; as in bought my own guillotine dedicated. I also feel that I should actually get a loyalty card for Paperchase. So after perusing the internet and deciding 'the look' for our invites, I got my supplies in and started the arts and crafts all over again. Well I say that, all I've been able to physically do thus far is cut the A4 paper into A5; don't actually have any of the main info confirmed yet for our wedding day (!) All in good time, hey...

I have, however, downloaded a font and created the designs for the invites themselves. Took a good while but I think we've got there in the end. Now to find a printers...

Wedding crafting has brought me onto first name terms with our local courier, what with all the paper bits I've been ordering. Very British moments of "Ah yes, me again! I know, so many deliveries" *rolls eyes and commences inane chit chat as you sign for the parcel* But lots of paper brings lots of wedding maths, like if there are 104 guests in the daytime with the wedding on a weekend, what colour envelopes do we need? (FYI, I'm a whizz now at paper/envelope sizes if anyone has any questions.)

But similarly to the Save the Dates, when the invites are complete I shall be sure to show you!

X

Cheers & Change

Earlier on this week I posted a well overdue message of thanks to our friends and family, as we've only got around to going through everything now the Christmas break is all done. (So again) wow; the other half and I are completely overwhelmed with everyone's kind words and generosity with their gifts. I just wanted to reiterate how thankful we are...tip top welcoming of our son into the world, guys.

When reading through the congratulations and looking at photos from the first couple of weeks you realise how much your little human changes - and how quickly it happens. Other parents tell you to make the most of when they're a newborn because it doesn't last very long. They're not wrong! Me and the little fella had his six week check up today with the Health Visitor and as he was lying there being weighed, he looked like a proper little boy. Already. Not the small human lump he has been since his arrival back in November. There he was, his big open eyes looking around. The cooing and gurgling (and grunting?!) Lifting his head up and checking out the scenery. His face has changed so much.

But because he is only six weeks - that's not even 50 days old yet - I still get cuddles with my tiny spud; his little legs all froggy and tucked up like he's in my womb. There is honestly no feeling like it. I HAVE A SON. WE MADE A TINY HUMAN AND NOW HE'S HERE IN REAL LIFE. Barmy isn't it?!

As you can sense I'm still having moments of what the ruddy hell?! We. Are. Parents. It really is quite the baptism of fire with almost every day bringing a new experience as a first-time mummy and daddy. FYI, it's true what they say; you can read all the advice books in the world beforehand, but nothing actually prepares you for when your small human comes home.

But he is here. And now we officially have our own line on the family tree.
(It's true. He's legally registered as a human being and everything)
X

And then there were three

Quite the cliffhanger I left you guys on...

But our bump to baby day was just that; and now we're 6 weeks in to being a little family of three thanks to our new addition of a little baby BOY! My slight inkling towards the end of pregnancy suggesting my bab be might be a girl was proved wrong at 12:37pm on 18th November as we welcomed a tiny human boy via c-section, weighing 6lbs 9oz.

I had every intention of writing about the whole birthing experience sooner than now - but I became utterly consumed by our new baby and I wanted to just enjoy my new role as Mummy to our spud. If you happen to follow me on Instagram then there's no doubt you would have seen my new family goings on as I continue to fill my feed with Baby Spam. FYI, Baby Spamming looks highly unlikely to stop in 2017 so by all means jump on board, chaps. Or don't. I don't mind, 'tis your call.

The last six weeks have flown by though and it's amazing how much has gone on during that time. My venture into parenthood has, generally speaking, been one of the most incredible things that's happened in my life so far and I feel it deserves a more detailed blog post (which will follow in the New Year). I say 'generally speaking' as naturally when you try anything new, there will always be trials and tribulations as you find your feet. And my word first-time parenthood has some steep learning curves! Like, I don't know, learning how to function with no sleep and a baby on your boob. Wouldn't change it for the world, mind.

For now however, I wanted to say that I hope you all had a smashing Christmas and enjoy this evening as we say ta ta and farewell to 2016 and look forward to what 2017 has to offer. But I also wanted to say a massive thank you for reading my ramblings as this year saw me take on my biggest adventure yet.

Happy New Year from one hormonal and proud Mummy. Here's to doing the 'pump and dump' so Mummy can have a few glasses of bubbles or a wkd blue.

X

3 More Sleeps

Just 3 more days for my to fill my time as a pregnant woman, waddling around with a small human inside me.

I can't quite believe we're here already. Mentally I feel about 30 weeks pregnant - like I just haven't been pregnant long enough to be able to have a baby on Friday. Yet physically I am more than aware that it's almost that time.

As I mentioned in my last post, I have now compiled all my #bumpingalong photos and it's amazing to see the change in my body. Especially when there are particular photos I see and I remember thinking wowza my bump is huge when in reality it was probably week 18 and more of a swollen bloat-type bump compared to what it is now!

This is my final #bumpingalong at Week 38; non-maternity clothes (Topshop size 12 dress and a size 12 cardigan from Primark), paired with thick and wild pregnancy hair that I don't quite know what to do with.

And here is my journey from Week 14 to Week 38 with a few extra bump shots thrown in for good measure...

Admittedly the lack of consistency with square photos has really niggled at my OCD, but hey ho. The sentiment is the same when you compare the earlier photos to the ones from the third trimester. So big and round.

#bumpingalong aside, I have spent the last few days of my nesting getting my head around the forthcoming c-section, as I realised I haven't thought about this procedure the way I would have with my Crohn's ops. I'm not too concerned with the recovery part of the c-section because of having had previous abdominal operations, I'm pretty used to negotiating my way around with pain down that way (oh so glam). However saying that, I've never had to recover from a major op with a newborn. So will let you know how that goes!? It's when you let yourself think about what is actually being done though; cutting through the abdomen and uterus. But I just want what's best for baby; I am confident and happy with both the gastro team and midwives that have looked after me at my hospital. I'm in good hands and that's all I can ask for.

Whereas my Crohn's ops were a literal pain in the arse accompanied with hope that it'll calm down a wee bit and edge me to remission, at the end of this hospital visit we will have the most amazing little person in our arms; someone that we made and are ready to love unconditionally for the rest of our lives. This is why I am so excited for Friday - if not before - as it will be life changing in the most wonderful way and it's an adventure that we are more than ready to begin, as our own little family. Our own line on the family tree. A little unit of three ready to take on the world.

Now to make some more soups for the freezer. Mama's gotta eat.

X

Penultimate Week

And everything is slowly winding down/building up (depending on how you look at it) to the day our baby arrives.

Week 37's #bumpingalong was an odd one as I realised it was the penultimate photo in the little series I started out of curiosity way back at Week 14. This week's outfit was a monochromatic affair in maternity leggings from ASOS with non-maternity jumper from New Look in a size 12 and the required winter accessories for these dark evenings.

Jazzy hat in London town

Also had my final night out out as a preg for a 30th birthday; wore a non-maternity dress from Topshop in a size 10 but it's ever so stretchy and kind. Although when getting ready had the whole meltdown of NOTHING FITS ME ANYMORE. WHEN IS THIS BABY GOING TO BE OUT OF ME. I CAN'T SEE MY FEET. HOLD ME. CAN YOU DO UP MY SHOE. But I had a lovely time and it was ever so bizarre being asked about how far gone I was only to reply with "oh, we'll have our baby in two weeks". So surreal - especially now we're a handful of days away. Where is the time going?!

Multiple me to hide the kitchen

I think I'm going to compile all the #bumpingalong photos together to see how my body has changed during this pregnancy; the nearer we get to meeting the small human, the more I've realised how much I'm going to miss my bump when it's gone. Like I've said before, I feel considerably lucky to have enjoyed my pregnancy as much as I have, as it is honestly one of the best experiences of my life. To essentially put my Crohn's into remission alone is something I never thought would happen - but to have gone on and been able to make the most of all that pregnancy brings has just been magical (heartburn aside). Makes me all sorts of emotional thinking about it (NB: pregnancy, not heartburn).

Talking of being totes emosh, I have given up with how wild my hormones have become in this last week. I will be the first to say I've been a nightmare. Not because I've been hard work and mean - but because I have been doing the type of crying when you get saggy shoulders and you just sit there like a sad sack, sobbing on the edge of the bed. But no, don't worry, I don't need anything. Just having a good cry *cue a concerned other half whilst the mascara drips down my face and onto the top of my bump leaving a dramatic watery black line*

And talking about my bump...

This is my bump at 37+4 and I look like a dinosaur egg. I'm still not very wide which is why I have moments when I think how have I got a 50cm and 3kg person in here?! But when I see myself at this angle I can definitely see where my baby is. Weighed myself this morning and I've put on a total of 18kg on since the end of February and it amazes me that just under a third of that will most likely be lost in a day. It must be the weirdest feeling walking around afterwards - the weight gain is so slow to then suddenly oh so much lighter. Floating almost.

Nesting is all but complete - with a variety of meals batch cooked and in the freezer for when we lose the ability to function and feed ourselves. If you want to know cooking things, I have listed these with the recipe inspirations on another post which you can get to here.

The last thing I want to do re nesting before the miniature one comes is another whizz around the house with the duster and the hoover in hand. And buy an outside bin. Otherwise I am more than content with my maternal preparations - with regards to the house anyway. Will post during the week about my emotional maternal prep for the impending events, as that's a whole other ball game.

And now to enjoy what is left of our last weekend as a two before we're a family of three...

Absolutely fine with having a child this coming week

X

Baby Show-time

The other half was off work this last week and we were all sorts of busy with the final preparations for our small human; due to arrive in 16 days. I'm sorry - 16 days?! Time is not real life any more it seems...

Having been quiet on the blogging front it means there are a couple of #bumpingalongs to catch up on too.

Week 34 was at The Baby Show and I am a true ball-up-jumper vision. Standard maternity jeans from Topshop with a non-maternity Size L jumper from H&M.

At The Baby Show the man and I picked out our last (!) few - albeit key - items. We have opted for the iCandy Peach for the bab's travel system, collected our MaxiCosi Pebble Plus as well as a Nuna Leaf for their seat, plus a Baby Bjorn carrier. And some other bargain bits, because, Baby Show. Will let you know how they all work out once they're up and running as functional items with a real baby in them (still having moments of OH MY GOD WE'RE HAVING A BABY VERY SOON NOW)

Week 35 was also on location after our final hospital appointment with the midwife. Birth plan is finalised now, although we are aware that there is every possibility of it changing once labour and birth begins. Hopefully if everything goes as planned, there are some aspects to our bab's birth that are as 'normal' as can be in an elective c-section. But here I am wearing a variety of khaki items; maternity Topshop jeans, Size L t-shirt from H&M and my winter coat in a Size 8 from Topshop, also non-maternity. 'Baby on Board' badge and Big Ben an additional bonus.

And now to week 36 after an Autumnal walk and day date to the local brewery - keg in hand. Lemonade for me, of course. This outfit that I cobbled together is made up of my maternity jeans (sense the pattern of no other trousers fitting me anymore), a maternity shirt from Topshop with my non-maternity camo jacket and winter accessories. Comfort for the win still.

As it stands I am officially past 9 months pregnant now and as much as I am wanting baby to stay in until their 'due' date, I am beginning to understand the cliché phrases you see on the internet. This includes everything with regards to nesting - which FYI, I am still absolutely bossing - but also the memes of feeling like the last trimester of pregnancy lasts approximately 5426 days.

But hey. What's another 16 days until we're only counting down the hours?!

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Strong Nesting

I was born to nest. I am in my absolute element and what's even better is that now I'm on maternity leave I can nest away to my heart's content... antibacterial spray in hand, off I pop from room to room. I saw an image on the internet the other day which said: 

"Nesting is spending two hours cleaning out the junk in the drawer, because there is nothing babies dislike more than a misplaced Phillips head screw."

Internet banter there. But it sums it up perfectly. And I have actually become that mama to be!

I've had more trips to the local dump in the last few weeks than I think I have in the whole time we've lived here. I've put paperwork in date order, in folders with dividers and anything that can be, has been alphabetically ordered. I've also become one with both Ikea and Amazon Prime; there is no space left in our house that hasn't been put on the nesting to-do list.

Feeding area coming together nicely

Although my time off has been joyous thus far (I mean come on, it's been like four days), I still find the concept of being off work for up to a year most odd. Probably because it feels like I'm just on annual leave and I don't have my baby in my arms yet. I know once the miniature one arrives work will be the last thing on my mind, as I will be otherwise engaged as a mama. Strange that isn't it?! Once the human is out of me I will forever be someone's mother. Still Harriet. But always someone's mum.

A surprise baby shower, a hand-crafted leaving card, a book that's tracked my #bumpingalong. So many wonderful bits to see me off into motherhood...Will certainly miss my colleagues. But yes. I had a lovely send off from my work pals!

Baby shots and a face that I'm not too sure about

Miranda approves of my leaving card

With regards to being prepared for bab, we're pretty much there now. We're off to The Baby Show this weekend so hoping to get some bargains for the final few purchases. The main bits left to get are the pram and car seat - or as they're known these days, travel systems - our baby monitor and a carrier/sling. Any recommendations for the latter two items would be welcomed greatly! I've heard the Motorola video monitors are good? But open to options. Also heard that the Solly Baby wraps are amazing, although I can only see them online in the States - so a UK equivalent would be ace to know.

But anyway, I've got the inside of a cupboard to bleach.

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Pack 'Em Up

31 weeks and all antenatal classes complete! Labour, c-sections, recovery, breastfeeding, bathing, generally looking after a small human...we are informed.

Informed, yes. Totally ready? Not quite. But sure.

The antenatal classes have been really helpful though in taking all the bits we've read over the last 8 months and preparing us to put it all into practice.

And so onto this week, which is the week of the 'hospital bag'. Packing the hospital bags though make everything seem that bit more real. Throughout my pregnancy there have been moments when it's like OH. WE ARE ACTUALLY HAVING A BABY, but then you just carry on being pregnant and stuff. Like when we decided nursery colours, when we built the furniture, when the nursery was complete. When browsing online for buggies and car seats and slings and learning what a travel system is. Let alone hitting the physical preg milestones that take you aback as there's a real life human growing inside.

Looking online it seems that you need to take everything you've ever owned with you to the hospital. There are a few bits that are irrelevant as we're having a caesarean, but generally there is a fair bit of packing to do! It also advises that it's split so that mama has a bag, and then a bag for dad and baby in case I'm whisked away somewhere.

Pinterest browsing (again) for all the bits and bobs

The baby's movements have gone from me feeling ripples to acknowledging that yes, that is definitely a foot, or a tiny back and little bottom. Blows my mind! After all, it's under 50 days to go now.

The parents-to-be (and a celebratory ale)

Had my penultimate midwife appointment yesterday and it's always a relief hearing baby's heart beating away nice and strong - and it got me thinking about how far into pregnancy we are and how I still have no clue as to whether I'm carrying a girl or boy. Will I ever get a sense of what my baby is? Am I out of touch to have no idea? All other preg women I've spoken to have had an inkling of what they're carrying; which has either been proved correct when they've given birth, or they've found out at their 20wk scan and they're bang on. The hormones in pregnancy are a funny thing because you have these irrational moments where you let your mind wander and then suddenly you're just a big ol' pregnant weepy lump, sitting on your sofa talking away to your small human saying sorry you don't know what they are.

Well at least I know I'm definitely carrying a baby. Despite my dream the other night about giving birth to a kitten.

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Professional Nester

Does nesting apply to all aspects of my life? As in nursery and homeware - but also my blog? If so, I'm ready to be a professional nester please.

I've been looking for a clean-looking blog template for what seems like years and now I've found one and have worked all evening on it (so sociable). Hattie, etc. finally got a ruddy good refresh and cleanse I wanted it to have. I also felt like the mint and peach colours of my blog before were merging into the nursery colour scheme; so now we have a sleek mono look instead, to match the grown up that I need to be when bab gets here.

The new layout also gives me an opportunity to show off photos more so; not just of myself in the #bumpingalong posts - because nobody needs to see my face stretched out across their screen, even when looking at the clothes - but for when I get stuck into wedding bits and bobs and of course once the miniature human is here. I'm a visual kinda person. Be visual with me.

This one has a mobile optimised look which pleases me so much! Quite the niggling pet hate putting in hard work to make the desktop version look all jazzy, only to view it on your phone and see a different thing altogether. A first world problem, sure, but annoying all the same.

I guess it's worth doing the life admin bits and bobs now because as my Nana pointed out to me today: "make the most of any free time you have, because you won't have any when baby gets here"...Wah. TEN WEEKS LEFT. SIX LEFT OF WORK. Although that seems close, when I say to myself that it's not until November it suddenly seems far away again. And then I see people on my Facebook counting down to Christmas and it's like jeewhizz I'll have a 5 week old baby by then!

I mentioned in my post yesterday that the third trimester is really starting to take it out of me. As you can see here in this sneaky picture by the other half from the other day...

Not my best look: spooning my cat with preg belly in all its glory

As it stands, I am experiencing what can only lightly be described as pressure on my nethers, whilst dealing with an extremely strong and active baby for my relatively small frame.

I spoke to my midwife and she said that the likelihood is is that baby is already head down and is leaning on a nerve, this is why it gets all kind of throbbing especially when I've had a wee. And before you ask (not that you would) 'tis not a water infection or any other vaginal situation. Overshare?! Perhaps. Anywho...some women give birth in that position, I guess using gravity as a helping hand? Fact of the matter is, is I am not ready for the small human to make an early appearance so if they could wiggle their way back up off the cervix area that would be ace.

Midwife tomorrow for the rhesus negative blood shenanigans and whilst I'm there I will of course discuss my need for opting to be horizontal for comfort. Just keeping everything crossed that baby isn't early as I would like to at least get into the 30 something weeks. But almost everything I've read in the forums have been posts by mums-to-be who are casually at 34/35 weeks and awaiting full engagement. I'm nowhere near fully baked yet.

Stay in there oh small one!

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Baby Showering

I was treated by all my nearest and dearest gals to a bloody lovely Baby Shower this weekend. Such a wonderful day. And of course as soon as I walked in and sat down I had a cry because, hormones. But in the loveliest way, naturally.

Few snapshots of vintage tea party fun:

We're also (somehow) at 28 weeks today and I seem to have embodied all of the stereotypical third trimester feelings in the last week: taking forever to roll over and get comfortable, only to realise I was more comfortable where I was. My desire to wear trousers is ever decreasing. Not being able to get up without moaning. And of course the approach of can't reach it, don't need it. 

Which brings me nicely to my #bumpingalong for today. Disclaimer in that I'm very tired and generally moving is annoying me. I also have a baby who is full of the hiccups. So today you've got me in what is considered perhaps an impractical/unprofessional, yet comfortable fleeting moment at my desk.

NB: This is not how I sit all day. Oh but if only I could.

Clothes are all non-maternity as fortunately I bought clothes many moons ago that were apparently built for a pregnant woman's figure anyway! So loose jumpsuit/pinafore item (?!) is from asos and is a size 12, paired with a size L H&M jersey stretchy top. Choker and red lippy optional - I just felt a bit French when getting ready this morning. I also need a hair wash, but you can't have it all.

With regards to the miniature human's nursery we're pretty much there now! We've got a few major items still to get, like the pram and car seat, but we're more than happy to wait a while to get those. The nursery has taken shape in the way that we hoped it would and now all that's really missing is our little person. Everything they need is just SO small. My heart explodes every time I go in the room because it makes me realise how real everything is now and how everything is going to change. But again, in the loveliest - albeit challenging - of ways.

Almost there!

From a building point of view things have slowed down now, but from an admin and midwife point of view it seems to only be just beginning! I have the midwife twice this week as I am O negative blood type which means I am part of 15% of women that are rhesus negative. Because of this it means I have to have an Anti-D injection at 28 weeks and maybe again at the birth if the blood of myself and baby were to cross. It's not so much a worry with this pregnancy, it may just mean that some extra care is needed to avoid any problems if I was to get pregnant again.

Essentially, if my baby is rhesus positive and their blood gets into my bloodstream, my immune system can develop antibodies against the rhesus antigens. If I was to be pregnant with another rhesus positive baby next time round, my antibodies can attack that baby's red blood cells which could potentially result in haemolytic disease of the newborn. This leads to anaemia and jaundice in the baby. [More info] So injection visit is the plan for this week!

Now all I really want to do is have a bath and a lie down whilst this active baby carries on dancing.

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Final Chapter?

There seems to be much confusion among pregnancy apps, books and online with regards to when the third trimester officially begins - with it ranging from 26-29 weeks. Generally speaking though, it seems week 27 is the start of the last pregnancy chapter.

So that's it. Third and final trimester has begun. I am 27+1 now. Here is a list of things that I need to sort out before the small one comes:

• Complete nursery prep
• Go on maternity leave
• Hospital bag
• Get leaky titties
• Not be able to bend forward/shave legs, etc.
• Nest
• Eat everything
• Find clothes that fit me when in the grips of hibernation
• Have a baby
• Cry because everything is overwhelming

Obviously the above list is not necessarily reflective of the next 11 weeks and also activities will not necessarily be completed in that order. But knowing that we're in the third trimester brings an element of fear in that we're officially on countdown now. Like it's happening. Shit needs to get done because we are having a baby.

Didn't do my #bumpingalong photo yesterday as quite frankly, it was Bank Holiday Monday and we were building the nursery wardrobe which (finally) arrived. So you lucky ones get to look at my clothes from today; grey t-shirt from New Look in a size 12. 'Tis actually a peplum cut so although non-maternity, allows fanning of the bump. Dress is from asos in a size 10 and again, non-maternity but was one of the first items I bought when I knew I was preg but was in the secret part of pregnancy. No one can question a growing bump when it's invisible in a boyfriend fit dress! Although the boyfriend fit is looking pretty tight nowadays...

But the most exciting thing that happened yesterday is that I FINALLY got to capture the wriggler on camera! So amazing. So alien. Just utterly incredible and I love the little one (video down the right hand side on the desktop view of la blog)

I also still find it incredibly odd that I have no idea what I'm carrying - other than that they're a baby. There I am, chatting away to this genderless person I've made with no idea if they're a little boy or a little girl. It doesn't matter to me either way, I just find it a funny situation. Should I have strong feelings about what sex they are? Or are there mums out there who also had no clue what they were carrying?

Boy or girl, our little tinker's bump adventure continues...Here's to the third trimester, guys.

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Nearly There

26 weeks today. Last week of my second trimester.

I feel like I write it every time I do a #bumpingalong but I genuinely don't know where the time is going... To think this time next week I'll be entering my third and final trimester of this pregnancy is just nuts to me. Especially when I think of all the things that still have to happen! And with that I mean my baby's growing but also practical bits and bobs.

As I mentioned in my last post, this weekend was all things nursery DIY and we had a very successful trip to IKEA as well. No arguing. No miniature pencils at dawn. Win-win if you ask me! It did make me laugh though, as I waddled through the layout (which you definitely must follow, otherwise chaos I tell ye. Like a salmon upstream), but seeing how many other preg couples were doing the same kind of thing as us; half knowing that they need to kit the nursery out but what exactly to buy? No one really knows. It's IKEA. People are there for the meatballs and strange items, no?

We got the main bits we were after though - namely a bookcase. But as always, went slightly rogue with the big yellow bag come basket. Who doesn't need multiple indoor faux greenery?! They look just great. And always worth a candle top-up when you're there, too.

Strong nursery haul

Some questionable items in the kids section however...case and point.

WHAT IS THIS AND WHY?!

With regards to the nursery now, we're nearly there. The changing unit arrived on Saturday afternoon as we sat among boxes, alan keys and 95 toolbits that didn't seem to match up to the furniture we bought. But yes, lots of building was done and now what was our spare room very much has a function as a nursery. Still waiting on the wardrobe, mind. That's lost in transition somewhere which isn't helpful but I guess it's one of those things. Everything else went so smoothly, there had to be one item that went off the beaten track.

Not knowing the gender of our baby has proved tricky for accessorising as it's so easy to get carried away with typically 'boy' items and vice versa. I swear the percentage of gender neutral items in shops is like 0.01% whether that's clothing or storage boxes, even changing mats!? To be honest I don't think we'll suddenly go all out blue or pink once we know what our baby is - we've got a strong colour family we're using anyway; mint, peach, grey and white. So for instance, we got a lovely blue London print but we will offset again some peachy/coral patterns on our frame wall.

Enough waffling about interiors. I started this post with reference to #bumpingalong so here is my 26th week look.

Blue baby tube

None of it is maternity, I've just worn them in a way that lets my bump be an unrestricted bump. Top is a size 12 from Primark (£5 in the sale, bargain) and the dress is a throwback H&M number in a large from when I was all sorts of steroid large myself. And as you can see my bump is very much out now. Belly button still clinging on at the bottom but I feel much more pregnant.

I believe I experienced the first few Braxton Hicks this weekend too, which took me by surprise. Everything is becoming more real; nursery building, baby moving. Even handed in my Mat Leave form to HR at work.

Only 12 weeks until baby. Oh my.

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