Little bit shit

As you all know I had my scan yesterday; originally planned as a CT and changed to a contrast ultrasound.

I didn't eat anything yesterday (as informed by the accompanying rules to the letter) and arrived ready and waiting. Fortunately it wasn't a contrast ultrasound after all, so no weird aniseed/vanilla/medicinal drink to have *sigh of relief* it was just a normal scan - I just needed to be empty inside for them to have a good ol' browse.

In my mind I told myself that I didn't really care what they found, or how bad it was, as long as I knew what I was dealing with...

Well they found something!

It seems I have an abdominal fistula. That's a little bit shit.

At this point I may have shed a tear or five.

I don't know if I cried because it was relief at there being a reason why I'm so bloated. Whether it was pure dread because after already having two previous fistula in my ass region, things didn't go so smoothly [did I tell you the time I had 9 perianal abscesses?!]

So yes. This it seems, is what's giving me grief.

Although not talked about much, abdominal fistulas are dangerous and difficult to manage for both the medical team and the patient.

By definition, a fistula is an open passage connecting the abdominal organs to the external surface; in layman's terms, it's a hole between one of the abdominal organs out to the skin's surface.

Based on when the problems started going crazy, I'm going to take a stab in the dark and state that this is the reason I have the fistula:

Fistulas caused by complications from surgery may involve an incomplete closure of an incision made on an organ or from an inadvertent nick by the scalpel that doesn't heal and may become infected.

Read more: About Abdominal Fistulas | eHow.com

***

I got told I will be called today - haven't as of yet - with a time and day next week to go get MRI'd for further detail.

Also on the chase for a follow up appointment with the surgical team. AGAIN.

***

To cleanse my brain, I called one of the lovely girls I met in hospital last night, as I felt like I needed to question/worry/rant about what I'd been told and I know she's been through something similar.

She was so helpful and told me what to look out for with my scar, how I was feeling etc.

Although I've had two fistula in my bum/pelvis, the abscesses it caused were near the surface, but were never really visible... unless you were in a yoga-twisted-acrobatic-move-with-accompanying-mirror. And by 'you' I obviously mean me. Because it would be a little bit weird if you were doing it too.

Whereas with this abdominal fistula, it's right in my insides and I'm assuming from what I've been told, it will be trying to work its way to the surface - typically through the weakest part of my skin. How convenient I have a 10cm scar right in that spot.

Apparently the redness of my scar should have gone down within (maximum) a month post-op. Well this is what mine looks like today...

Outfit theme of the day: Club Tropicana drinks are freeeee

 

  

(Please also excuse the lower trouser elastic imprint - part and parcel of the bloat and wearing clothes)

But as you can see, my scar from my kidney op is nice and white (near my belly button). Granted this was from 2009, but once the scab fell off it was pretty much like this straight away. So another thing to keep an eye on, I guess!

If I can get anything out of this ridiculous situation, I'd hope that it's at least a few months of normality and that it won't be too much longer until I generally feel better - both physically and mentally.

I'm doing ok. Just feel a bit let down by my body haha.

Fret not, as in the meantime, I shall look forward to the weekend where I shall be painting my nails, getting my hair cut off and enjoying what's left of the sunshine!

Toodleoooooo

X

Hunger Pains

Sorry for moaning, BUT I AM SOO HUNGRY.

I am going to make sure I request that future scans - where lack of food is required - are no later than 2pm.

There's a rumbling in my tummy that is very loud...I feel empty.

And being anti-social at lunchtime at work is no fun. But the food aromas were torture! It's a lot easier to not be hungry in the house on my own on scan day.

#LessonLearned

Woe is me. Let's go get scanned.

X

Ms Motivator

We've bought an exercise bike!

And not just any bike, a Davina Magnetic Exercise Bike...[sounds good?!]

The Davina magnetic exercise bike lets you burn through calories and tone your legs in a comfortable, low impact motion.

 

It has 8 levels of tension control so that you can increase the intensity of your workout as your fitness improves or simply vary the resistance within workouts.

 

It includes a centre console that reports on the various aspects of your workout.

Snazzy.

I have also quit the gym. Well almost.

Now I know you're probably thinking where's the logic in that?! You're trying to lose weight, not gain weight. But alas, my friends, there's a method in my madness;

I don't have energy at the best of times, but am very much aware that I am borderline Chubster again. I also have to deal with the unpredictability of what may or may not happen with the hospital and what that will do to my general health and well-being. Whilst this is happening, I find it very hard to justify paying £40 odd per month when I've been a handful of times due to crappy Crohn's.

Moral of the story? If Crohn's is ever going to be helpful, it's when you're trying to quit the gym ;)

Which leaves me with the predicament of HOW do I lose weight, when I'm not a member of the gym anymore?!

This is my plan...

• A 10 week workout (minus stomach crunches/sit ups until at least May 5th due to post-op rules ha) with the aim to lose around 2 lbs a week
• No carbs in the night time
• Aiming to introduce natural anti-inflammatory foods into my diet
• Trying to stick to a low fibre diet for the bloat
• Start going to salsa and ballet

But another predicament arises as low fibre foods are not very helpful for weight loss. WHY OH WHY IS THIS SO HARD?!

Take puddings: suitable suggested foods include ice cream, jelly, custard, lollies. Foods to avoid...any containing fruit or nuts.

It basically means in order to eat the right foods for my body, I'm going to have to work out super hard to get rid of this extra weight (uhhh) but I'm post-op so there's only so much I can do for the time being?!!

Got my contrast ultrasound tomorrow though, so at least then I shall hopefully have an idea of why I'm super bloated all ze tiimmmeee. And if anything, I may find out how to amend my diet accordingly.

If all else fails....................

X

It never runs smoothly

And by this I am referring to elective surgery.

I know I've only just started telling you all about Crohn's and me, but as I have a lot coming up I feel you guys need to be up to date!

So...

The general process for the mind goes something like this:

1. Finding out you need surgery 
2. The planning of said surgery 
3. The appointments leading up to surgery 
4. The amount of people you must speak to in order to find out when you'll be having the surgery
5. Learning to hang up before you scream ungodly words at strangers from the Admissions department
6. Maintaining the patience of a saint and the organisational skills of the Queen's PA

As I mentioned before, I'm due to have my tenth Crohn's operation in a matter of days - yet it seems to have been an almighty struggle getting to where I am now...

It was way back when in October 2012 and I knew I was having a bad flare up.

Feeling so lethargic; just getting to and from work was proving difficult because I had no energy. Then there was the time I sat on the work toilet floor throwing up any contents I had inside me. Needless to say that wasn't one of my finest moments. And of course the inevitable poos.

I went through the motions of GP, steroids, see how you go. Except this time nothing changed. So I changed the dose and strength of steroid. Still nothing changed.

Now I find myself in the outpatient department of St George's in Tooting (NB: transferred hospitals after my 9th abscess op. All shall be revealed later on in a dedicated post just to talk about lumps in bums) but it seems the best thing to do is have a blood test and an ultrasound to see what's going on inside of me.

In a nutshell, to quote my hospital letter...

"Her recent oral contrast ultrasound scan showed a stricture of around 9cm in the terminal ileum which narrows to 4mm"

That's right kids! What I consume has got to get through 4mm in order to continue its journey to my bum hole. On the plus side (I guess) at least I now know why it's near on impossible for me to do what is considered a normal poo.

So to fix this I get told I will need an operation.

My mindset translation for that moment in time
Totally ok with this (cue emotional breakdown)
I've had ops before (but not one this big)
Everything will be fine (course it will - please sense the sarcasm)

Was supposed to have a strictureplasty through open surgery at the end of November. But only found out last week that my operation is approaching *rejoices* after months of being 'urgent' and on top of a list, yet never seen by the surgeon. Talk about stuck in an admin rut.

And that's where I am now.

It's a funny old thing, knowing you're going to have your biggest operation to date. Hoping it's going to be life-changing for all the right reasons.

X