Who Am I?

It seems my blogging hiatuses are getting wildly out of hand. Over seven months this time. Maybe you're wondering who I even am? It's been so long!

I suppose my main reason for the break was to focus on getting better from the crazy flare I had over Winter, and to try and get back to 'normal' with regards to routine in both work and home. And I got there! Ish. I mean, I've been back at work properly since February and am also now in the depths of trying to buy a house which can go on to become my home.

Whenever I have a break from writing it's always quite a challenge for me to get back on that hypothetical bike; there's always that moment of WHAT IF NOBODY WANTS TO READ THIS ANYMORE?! Yet I've decided that actually, that's fine. Because I know I find writing therapeutic. I know I enjoy sharing my thoughts.

So for anyone that is reading/cares, brief summary of (essentially) 2018 thus far:

• Back working full time
• Been a wife for nearly eleven months
• Off all meds to try and reset my body/see what state it's left in
• Turned 30
• Continued to watch my son become the funniest little human 
• Trying to buy a house

I don't know if it's because I've had a milestone birthday?? But I've done a lot of thinking this year. And more recently in particular, I've done a lot of thinking about what direction I want my writing to go.

I think I've mentioned it before, in that this obviously began as a way for me to talk about my Crohn's and was started at a time where I was due the largest operation I'd had. I was shit scared. I didn't know what lay ahead, but I was already aware of the duff hand I'd been dealt re my health. Time passed, I blogged about the arse situations my body had thrown at me - and I'd like to think that on the whole I coped (!) with it all rather well. Then I had a reassessment of here blog and decided Hattie, etc. was the way forward. I was more than my Crohn's. And I wanted this platform to be a representation of that. The natural progression was to then write about being preg - which honestly, I look back at all my posts from when I was that first-time mama-to-be and I am so so glad I wrote as often as I did. Things that for the life of me, I cannot remember happening, yet I have all my thoughts and feelings sitting there in this hub to relive.

That then leads me to now, though. Not pregnant. Still very much an active Crohn's patient. Where do I go from here? What do I write about? What do I have to say?

There are things that have happened that quite frankly I would have loved to have written about so openly, but as with anything...time and a place...and often it's not the right time. Or necessarily the right place. It can be a challenge to work through life's hurdles anyway, let alone when you get bad news; or terribly sad news; or news that you would just rather have on another day when you feel like you can deal with it better.

One thing I've learnt as I've got older (and also since I've become a mother), is that there are a lot of things that I have no control over - try as I might - but it's how I deal with situations, which will help shape me as a person. Who I am as a mum. Who I am at work. Who I am as an individual. Who I am as a wife. Who I am within my family. Who I am as a friend.

And maybe that's what I write about now? Who I am. Who actually am I?

I'm not promising any fantastic content that will provide you with endless laughs or equally all the tears. But as I delve deeper into my 30s I plan on writing as many of my experiences as I go: family holidays, being a mother to a glorious little boy, tales of being a wife, buying a family home and the subsequent interior design (FINALLY. Time to release my inner Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen *puts on a pussybow blouse with a fluted sleeve*) And maybe also for that one day in the future when I'm a mama-to-be again. Perhaps even some of my outfits, whilst I'm at it.

Because that's who I am. I am all of those things. I am like a human dodecahedron and I want to write all about it.

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Dancing Humbug

Feeling Crafty

Crohn's shenanigans aside, 2017 is the year of the wedding! Best get organising and preparing as a bride-to-be...

First stop of arts and crafts for this mama on mat leave was the Save the Dates. I wanted to make something that wasn't overly time consuming - what with a new baby and all - but was also something I'd be proud to send out to family and friends.

Debated for a good while whether the Save the Dates had to be in the same colour scheme, etc. of the overall wedding stationery - typically they're sent so far in advance that how can you even know what colours you'll have?! But because we had a baby a few months went by (around 9) when all things wedding got parked for the time being. So now we're not actually that far away and have a rough idea of colours and what not...

They're all done and dusted and posted, and I'm really pleased with how they turned out. Should probably point out that I ordered our stamp from The English Stamp Company, along with the maroon/wine coloured inkpad. Dead impressed with the quality of it (also a nice little keepsake as it's got our wedding date on). Will be ordering more stamps from there, for sure - most likely for decorative purposes on other wedding stationery.

But now? It's time to work on the invitations!

I did my research as to what a wedding invitation should include; the actual inviting of the guests, time, date, etc. plus any details and an RSVP. Best route forward (as I wanted to make them all myself still) was to make a wedding bundle; make bits little and often, as again, young baby to look after too. So back to Pinterest for all the inspiration and I think we've finally settled what they'll look like. Give or take creative license.

I'd like to point out that I'm pretty keen for all this stuff; as in bought my own guillotine dedicated. I also feel that I should actually get a loyalty card for Paperchase. So after perusing the internet and deciding 'the look' for our invites, I got my supplies in and started the arts and crafts all over again. Well I say that, all I've been able to physically do thus far is cut the A4 paper into A5; don't actually have any of the main info confirmed yet for our wedding day (!) All in good time, hey...

I have, however, downloaded a font and created the designs for the invites themselves. Took a good while but I think we've got there in the end. Now to find a printers...

Wedding crafting has brought me onto first name terms with our local courier, what with all the paper bits I've been ordering. Very British moments of "Ah yes, me again! I know, so many deliveries" *rolls eyes and commences inane chit chat as you sign for the parcel* But lots of paper brings lots of wedding maths, like if there are 104 guests in the daytime with the wedding on a weekend, what colour envelopes do we need? (FYI, I'm a whizz now at paper/envelope sizes if anyone has any questions.)

But similarly to the Save the Dates, when the invites are complete I shall be sure to show you!

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Cheers & Change

Earlier on this week I posted a well overdue message of thanks to our friends and family, as we've only got around to going through everything now the Christmas break is all done. (So again) wow; the other half and I are completely overwhelmed with everyone's kind words and generosity with their gifts. I just wanted to reiterate how thankful we are...tip top welcoming of our son into the world, guys.

When reading through the congratulations and looking at photos from the first couple of weeks you realise how much your little human changes - and how quickly it happens. Other parents tell you to make the most of when they're a newborn because it doesn't last very long. They're not wrong! Me and the little fella had his six week check up today with the Health Visitor and as he was lying there being weighed, he looked like a proper little boy. Already. Not the small human lump he has been since his arrival back in November. There he was, his big open eyes looking around. The cooing and gurgling (and grunting?!) Lifting his head up and checking out the scenery. His face has changed so much.

But because he is only six weeks - that's not even 50 days old yet - I still get cuddles with my tiny spud; his little legs all froggy and tucked up like he's in my womb. There is honestly no feeling like it. I HAVE A SON. WE MADE A TINY HUMAN AND NOW HE'S HERE IN REAL LIFE. Barmy isn't it?!

As you can sense I'm still having moments of what the ruddy hell?! We. Are. Parents. It really is quite the baptism of fire with almost every day bringing a new experience as a first-time mummy and daddy. FYI, it's true what they say; you can read all the advice books in the world beforehand, but nothing actually prepares you for when your small human comes home.

But he is here. And now we officially have our own line on the family tree.
(It's true. He's legally registered as a human being and everything)
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Batch Cooking

I have had a fair few people tell me that batch cooking is an absolute life saver once baby is here as it seems that you essentially forget how to function - whether that be due to the lack of sleep, working out how to be with a brand new person and routine, or just to make life a little bit easier. Either way, get cooking and freezing, pal.

So that's what I've done!

Have only made three meals this week, might squeeze in one more before bab comes. But below are the recipes I used as inspiration in case you want to make any of them. I like to go off on a tangent every now and then, but also because I don't like anchovies, so just no. They are not included in anything. Tailor the below to your own tastebuds and I'm sure you'll have a lovely time.

Pea & Mint Soup
This recipe is from BBC Good Food and was so surprisingly easy I think I'll make a couple more soups. But yes, not much more to say as, well...it's a soup.

Chilli Con Carne
Enjoy cooking recipes from Jamie Oliver as he's so slap dash and when I first started cooking his approach was the best for me. This is super tasty though and a good one for those meals when you need to use up what's in your cupboard. Thrifty.

Shepherd's Pie
Got to have a Winter Warmer in there, haven't you? This one is from BBC Food and I most definitely did not include the optional anchovy - I'm not a fool. Freezer tip for this one being to freeze the mash and the mince filling separately. Then when it comes to eating, once defrosted just build the pie as you would if cooking fresh and then whack in the oven.

When all meals were cooked I split them into indiviudual portions in freezer bags; dated and labelled, of course. As if you won't know what 'mashed potato' is without the label (what type of nester have I become?!)

But hopefully my crazy nesting has made it all that little bit easier as we adjust to life with our tiny new person to look after...

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Baby Show-time

The other half was off work this last week and we were all sorts of busy with the final preparations for our small human; due to arrive in 16 days. I'm sorry - 16 days?! Time is not real life any more it seems...

Having been quiet on the blogging front it means there are a couple of #bumpingalongs to catch up on too.

Week 34 was at The Baby Show and I am a true ball-up-jumper vision. Standard maternity jeans from Topshop with a non-maternity Size L jumper from H&M.

At The Baby Show the man and I picked out our last (!) few - albeit key - items. We have opted for the iCandy Peach for the bab's travel system, collected our MaxiCosi Pebble Plus as well as a Nuna Leaf for their seat, plus a Baby Bjorn carrier. And some other bargain bits, because, Baby Show. Will let you know how they all work out once they're up and running as functional items with a real baby in them (still having moments of OH MY GOD WE'RE HAVING A BABY VERY SOON NOW)

Week 35 was also on location after our final hospital appointment with the midwife. Birth plan is finalised now, although we are aware that there is every possibility of it changing once labour and birth begins. Hopefully if everything goes as planned, there are some aspects to our bab's birth that are as 'normal' as can be in an elective c-section. But here I am wearing a variety of khaki items; maternity Topshop jeans, Size L t-shirt from H&M and my winter coat in a Size 8 from Topshop, also non-maternity. 'Baby on Board' badge and Big Ben an additional bonus.

And now to week 36 after an Autumnal walk and day date to the local brewery - keg in hand. Lemonade for me, of course. This outfit that I cobbled together is made up of my maternity jeans (sense the pattern of no other trousers fitting me anymore), a maternity shirt from Topshop with my non-maternity camo jacket and winter accessories. Comfort for the win still.

As it stands I am officially past 9 months pregnant now and as much as I am wanting baby to stay in until their 'due' date, I am beginning to understand the cliché phrases you see on the internet. This includes everything with regards to nesting - which FYI, I am still absolutely bossing - but also the memes of feeling like the last trimester of pregnancy lasts approximately 5426 days.

But hey. What's another 16 days until we're only counting down the hours?!

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Pregnancy Lent

Kind of. We're now less than 40 days and 40 nights and there will probably be a lot of pancakes consumed by yours truly.

Officially (as I type) we have 37 days to go until our c-section date and the list of things to do/buy before the human arrives is getting that bit smaller; which means it's getting that bit more real still. I said at the start of blogging about my pregnancy that although it's Biology 101 for how a baby is made and grows, it is still one of the most fascinating things I have ever experienced in my life. I still consider myself extremely lucky to have had a relatively 'normal' pregnancy with regards to my Crohn's calming down - and if it comes back once bab is out, then I will cross that bridge when I get there. But at least I've been able to feel like I have carried this baby with little to no complications thus far. Just can't let my arse fall out at the final hurdle, to quote my gastro surgeon.

Talking of bottoms...seamless link...

I think more needs to be said about HOW CONSTIPATED YOU GET IN THE THIRD TRIMESTER. Let alone how you feel like Windy Miller with the air just falling out of you, top and bottom. I'm a disgrace. Thank god I've been with my other half for 9 years, because the romance has well and truly died recently! I'm not used to having bowel movements like a bus service on a Sunday in a village. My bowels pre-preg were a 10-15 times a day situation. I don't know how to deal with this once a day malarkey!? How do you people do it? I feel like it's just not enough. But hey, if bab slows down my digestive system to a snail's pace, then that is the less frequent shitting hand I've been dealt. It frees up so much time! Although saying that, the toilet dashes have been replaced by toilet dashes...just for a number one instead. But still so much quicker! Even if you need to do all the weeing, what with the baby pushing down on the organs. And sneezing still makes me nervous, mind - ruddy pelvic floors *squeezes muscles*

Did a version of a #bumpingalong for my 33 weeks (got to get the lift pics in whilst I can) and I'm kitted out in head to toe maternity Topshop. Even gave a nursing bra a run out and I felt so free. Big ol' wobbly mama-to-be boobies. And despite my breasts being the largest they've ever been in my life, my baby bump is so much further out - hence my human pyramid effect.

So yep, this week and it's my last week of work; all finished on Thursday. I will do a final work-based #bumpingalong and a post about maternity leave, as I'm already finding the concept quite odd. It's a real mix of emotions.

But for now, I think I've done a good bit of oversharing...

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The Age of the Potato

It's happened. I've become a human spud in the torso.

Had a christening over the weekend and despite feeling all sorts of lovely in my dress, looking back at photos I can see that yes - my body has become one big potato. My bump is very out now. And I've learnt that from this point forward, it's where I put on 1 to 2lbs/week as part of pregnancy. Let the expansion continue! It's also easier for me to get through gaps head on rather than turning sideways and knocking everything with the bab bump.

Here's my week 32 #bumpingalong (trying to stay on top of it!) and I am wearing maternity leggings from ASOS with a non-maternity tunic type dress from last year's Topshop in a size 12. The dress was a go-to when I was Crohn's bloated - 'tis nice and roomy in the middle and the pattern is also great camouflage.

Baby has been a regular hiccupper for a good few weeks; I read somewhere the other day that says if baby is hiccupping too much after 32 weeks that it's something to talk to the midwife about? Has anyone else heard this? I believe it's because it could mean the cord is around the small person's neck. Keeping an eye on that fo' sho. Although my first-time-parent anxiety is somewhat alleviated now we've reached a point in pregnancy where if baby arrives, we're medically kind of ok. Ish.

The movement from this baby though! It's incredible, albeit painful at times, how much they move around. And to feel an actual body not just seeing my belly wobble. The moving is making my other half oh so excited to meet our baby...it makes my heart swell seeing him like this. I can't wait!

Don't get me wrong I am still panicking about everything else that being a parent involves as there's only so much prep you can do before they're here. It's 45 days until this baby is definitely out of my womb and into my arms.

And this is my last full week at work.

HOLY SHITBALLS.

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Pack 'Em Up

31 weeks and all antenatal classes complete! Labour, c-sections, recovery, breastfeeding, bathing, generally looking after a small human...we are informed.

Informed, yes. Totally ready? Not quite. But sure.

The antenatal classes have been really helpful though in taking all the bits we've read over the last 8 months and preparing us to put it all into practice.

And so onto this week, which is the week of the 'hospital bag'. Packing the hospital bags though make everything seem that bit more real. Throughout my pregnancy there have been moments when it's like OH. WE ARE ACTUALLY HAVING A BABY, but then you just carry on being pregnant and stuff. Like when we decided nursery colours, when we built the furniture, when the nursery was complete. When browsing online for buggies and car seats and slings and learning what a travel system is. Let alone hitting the physical preg milestones that take you aback as there's a real life human growing inside.

Looking online it seems that you need to take everything you've ever owned with you to the hospital. There are a few bits that are irrelevant as we're having a caesarean, but generally there is a fair bit of packing to do! It also advises that it's split so that mama has a bag, and then a bag for dad and baby in case I'm whisked away somewhere.

Pinterest browsing (again) for all the bits and bobs

The baby's movements have gone from me feeling ripples to acknowledging that yes, that is definitely a foot, or a tiny back and little bottom. Blows my mind! After all, it's under 50 days to go now.

The parents-to-be (and a celebratory ale)

Had my penultimate midwife appointment yesterday and it's always a relief hearing baby's heart beating away nice and strong - and it got me thinking about how far into pregnancy we are and how I still have no clue as to whether I'm carrying a girl or boy. Will I ever get a sense of what my baby is? Am I out of touch to have no idea? All other preg women I've spoken to have had an inkling of what they're carrying; which has either been proved correct when they've given birth, or they've found out at their 20wk scan and they're bang on. The hormones in pregnancy are a funny thing because you have these irrational moments where you let your mind wander and then suddenly you're just a big ol' pregnant weepy lump, sitting on your sofa talking away to your small human saying sorry you don't know what they are.

Well at least I know I'm definitely carrying a baby. Despite my dream the other night about giving birth to a kitten.

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Professional Nester

Does nesting apply to all aspects of my life? As in nursery and homeware - but also my blog? If so, I'm ready to be a professional nester please.

I've been looking for a clean-looking blog template for what seems like years and now I've found one and have worked all evening on it (so sociable). Hattie, etc. finally got a ruddy good refresh and cleanse I wanted it to have. I also felt like the mint and peach colours of my blog before were merging into the nursery colour scheme; so now we have a sleek mono look instead, to match the grown up that I need to be when bab gets here.

The new layout also gives me an opportunity to show off photos more so; not just of myself in the #bumpingalong posts - because nobody needs to see my face stretched out across their screen, even when looking at the clothes - but for when I get stuck into wedding bits and bobs and of course once the miniature human is here. I'm a visual kinda person. Be visual with me.

This one has a mobile optimised look which pleases me so much! Quite the niggling pet hate putting in hard work to make the desktop version look all jazzy, only to view it on your phone and see a different thing altogether. A first world problem, sure, but annoying all the same.

I guess it's worth doing the life admin bits and bobs now because as my Nana pointed out to me today: "make the most of any free time you have, because you won't have any when baby gets here"...Wah. TEN WEEKS LEFT. SIX LEFT OF WORK. Although that seems close, when I say to myself that it's not until November it suddenly seems far away again. And then I see people on my Facebook counting down to Christmas and it's like jeewhizz I'll have a 5 week old baby by then!

I mentioned in my post yesterday that the third trimester is really starting to take it out of me. As you can see here in this sneaky picture by the other half from the other day...

Not my best look: spooning my cat with preg belly in all its glory

As it stands, I am experiencing what can only lightly be described as pressure on my nethers, whilst dealing with an extremely strong and active baby for my relatively small frame.

I spoke to my midwife and she said that the likelihood is is that baby is already head down and is leaning on a nerve, this is why it gets all kind of throbbing especially when I've had a wee. And before you ask (not that you would) 'tis not a water infection or any other vaginal situation. Overshare?! Perhaps. Anywho...some women give birth in that position, I guess using gravity as a helping hand? Fact of the matter is, is I am not ready for the small human to make an early appearance so if they could wiggle their way back up off the cervix area that would be ace.

Midwife tomorrow for the rhesus negative blood shenanigans and whilst I'm there I will of course discuss my need for opting to be horizontal for comfort. Just keeping everything crossed that baby isn't early as I would like to at least get into the 30 something weeks. But almost everything I've read in the forums have been posts by mums-to-be who are casually at 34/35 weeks and awaiting full engagement. I'm nowhere near fully baked yet.

Stay in there oh small one!

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Final Chapter?

There seems to be much confusion among pregnancy apps, books and online with regards to when the third trimester officially begins - with it ranging from 26-29 weeks. Generally speaking though, it seems week 27 is the start of the last pregnancy chapter.

So that's it. Third and final trimester has begun. I am 27+1 now. Here is a list of things that I need to sort out before the small one comes:

• Complete nursery prep
• Go on maternity leave
• Hospital bag
• Get leaky titties
• Not be able to bend forward/shave legs, etc.
• Nest
• Eat everything
• Find clothes that fit me when in the grips of hibernation
• Have a baby
• Cry because everything is overwhelming

Obviously the above list is not necessarily reflective of the next 11 weeks and also activities will not necessarily be completed in that order. But knowing that we're in the third trimester brings an element of fear in that we're officially on countdown now. Like it's happening. Shit needs to get done because we are having a baby.

Didn't do my #bumpingalong photo yesterday as quite frankly, it was Bank Holiday Monday and we were building the nursery wardrobe which (finally) arrived. So you lucky ones get to look at my clothes from today; grey t-shirt from New Look in a size 12. 'Tis actually a peplum cut so although non-maternity, allows fanning of the bump. Dress is from asos in a size 10 and again, non-maternity but was one of the first items I bought when I knew I was preg but was in the secret part of pregnancy. No one can question a growing bump when it's invisible in a boyfriend fit dress! Although the boyfriend fit is looking pretty tight nowadays...

But the most exciting thing that happened yesterday is that I FINALLY got to capture the wriggler on camera! So amazing. So alien. Just utterly incredible and I love the little one (video down the right hand side on the desktop view of la blog)

I also still find it incredibly odd that I have no idea what I'm carrying - other than that they're a baby. There I am, chatting away to this genderless person I've made with no idea if they're a little boy or a little girl. It doesn't matter to me either way, I just find it a funny situation. Should I have strong feelings about what sex they are? Or are there mums out there who also had no clue what they were carrying?

Boy or girl, our little tinker's bump adventure continues...Here's to the third trimester, guys.

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Returning of the Sandwiches

You may recall my comparison of a ham sandwich in a service station and that of buying maternity clothes, a few posts back. And then how I said I'd do a separate post on the asos haul because, FASHION.

Well essentially this is it - but it's more along the lines of how clothes online don't always look like that in real life. Duh. So I am returning aforementioned ham sandwiches - not all of them mind, the snakeskin booties and polonecks made the cut, as did a white shirt.

That is me in the white shirt.

It's maternity and quite sack-like but it's very comfortable. There's something about a classic white shirt that makes you feel a bit back to school, but alas it's probably one of my favourite items in my newly reformed capsule maternity collection.

As I mentioned before, maternity clothes aren't cheap but there is a definite requirement for them. I've decided to refine my approach to the sartorial challenge and wear as many non-maternity items as possible whilst I can. And only buy maternity bits because the non-maternity equivalent just won't do; for instance, jeans or bras. This is also because I'm starting to realise that I need to easily get my booby out when the child has arrived and my money would be better spent on a nursing bra and shawl, compared to another jersey dress that clings onto the bump in all the right places because it says maternity on the label.

The next black hole of mama fashion that's crossed my mind - albeit way too early: maternity wear postpartum.

I am very much 'just bump' so far in my pregnancy, and bearing in mind how much my body weight has changed over the years with all the different meds and generally my Crohn's Disease, I was ready to expand everywhere. I'm also aware that when my baby comes out of my body I expect to look down at my newly scarred tum and see a somewhat deflated balloon (a final visual for the pregnancy wind, perhaps).

Like I've alluded to before, I am in utter awe of the body and what it does during pregnancy and I don't see why that would change once the miniature person is out of me. If anything I think I'll be taken aback even more so. Because they made it out. The human will be out of my body and in my arms. I don't want to feel the societal pressure of snapping back a la every single celeb in the sidebar of shame on Mail Online. Your body changes for 9 months so I'm expecting at least 9 months for it to return to its 'normal'. And if it doesn't, who cares?

On that basis alone, I imagine that me and my maternity jeans and booby-bearing nursing bras will remain pals for a good while after birth. And that is fine.

I've still got a lot to do before then anyway. You know, like stay being pregnant for another 12 weeks and survive this mini heatwave again.

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Nearly There

26 weeks today. Last week of my second trimester.

I feel like I write it every time I do a #bumpingalong but I genuinely don't know where the time is going... To think this time next week I'll be entering my third and final trimester of this pregnancy is just nuts to me. Especially when I think of all the things that still have to happen! And with that I mean my baby's growing but also practical bits and bobs.

As I mentioned in my last post, this weekend was all things nursery DIY and we had a very successful trip to IKEA as well. No arguing. No miniature pencils at dawn. Win-win if you ask me! It did make me laugh though, as I waddled through the layout (which you definitely must follow, otherwise chaos I tell ye. Like a salmon upstream), but seeing how many other preg couples were doing the same kind of thing as us; half knowing that they need to kit the nursery out but what exactly to buy? No one really knows. It's IKEA. People are there for the meatballs and strange items, no?

We got the main bits we were after though - namely a bookcase. But as always, went slightly rogue with the big yellow bag come basket. Who doesn't need multiple indoor faux greenery?! They look just great. And always worth a candle top-up when you're there, too.

Strong nursery haul

Some questionable items in the kids section however...case and point.

WHAT IS THIS AND WHY?!

With regards to the nursery now, we're nearly there. The changing unit arrived on Saturday afternoon as we sat among boxes, alan keys and 95 toolbits that didn't seem to match up to the furniture we bought. But yes, lots of building was done and now what was our spare room very much has a function as a nursery. Still waiting on the wardrobe, mind. That's lost in transition somewhere which isn't helpful but I guess it's one of those things. Everything else went so smoothly, there had to be one item that went off the beaten track.

Not knowing the gender of our baby has proved tricky for accessorising as it's so easy to get carried away with typically 'boy' items and vice versa. I swear the percentage of gender neutral items in shops is like 0.01% whether that's clothing or storage boxes, even changing mats!? To be honest I don't think we'll suddenly go all out blue or pink once we know what our baby is - we've got a strong colour family we're using anyway; mint, peach, grey and white. So for instance, we got a lovely blue London print but we will offset again some peachy/coral patterns on our frame wall.

Enough waffling about interiors. I started this post with reference to #bumpingalong so here is my 26th week look.

Blue baby tube

None of it is maternity, I've just worn them in a way that lets my bump be an unrestricted bump. Top is a size 12 from Primark (£5 in the sale, bargain) and the dress is a throwback H&M number in a large from when I was all sorts of steroid large myself. And as you can see my bump is very much out now. Belly button still clinging on at the bottom but I feel much more pregnant.

I believe I experienced the first few Braxton Hicks this weekend too, which took me by surprise. Everything is becoming more real; nursery building, baby moving. Even handed in my Mat Leave form to HR at work.

Only 12 weeks until baby. Oh my.

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DIYing

This weekend is all about nursery DIY *digs out trusty alan key*

The nursery is painted and looking just lovely - it's strange to see what was our spare room, the room that kind of had no purpose, now very much ready to be filled with all things baby. Our baby. Our baby's room.

We ordered the furniture last week and we're trying to build as it arrives. I mean I say 'we', but really I was the instruction reader and I got one swift go on a screw with an alan key...but then back to delegating as the preg one.

Our little person's cotbed arrived first and that is now built, mattress in and awaiting bedding. A jazzy rug arrived yesterday and the wardrobe is due to arrive today; so that's our Friday night activity sorted!

Me (not pictured) saying yes that is where that goes

Tomorrow however I feel will be a bit of a nightmare for my other half - and I tell you for why. It's a Saturday. And we're going to go to IKEA. The vortex that sucks you in where you follow other wandering couples and you want the children's section but suddenly you're in the garden section holding a faux palm tree. Wish us luck for that people! We might end up doing battle in the candle section with the miniature pencils.

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Half Time

So although Monday was my 19 weeks, it was officially my halfway point as I'm booked in for my c-section at 38 weeks. Where has the time gone?!

Also had the hospital on Monday to see the Crohn's midwife team - I explained to them that I'd been feeling a tad under the weather the previous week but wasn't able to tell them if it was Crohn's, pregnancy, or a combination of the two. Got my bloods done to check all my levels for general pregnancy but also IBD and they said they would be in touch if something came back off kilter.

Then there I am yesterday at my work Summer Festival with a missed call from the hospital. WAH. Luckily they called back; I was dreading it a bit as they said they'd only call if the results weren't fine...Turns out it wasn't my Crohn's flaring which was a massive relief - my inflammatory markers were hardly noteworthy. It's my iron.

I've always been borderline anaemic for as long as I can remember, but on the right side of normal, still. It seems that now my iron levels have dropped quite a lot since being preggers and my hemoglobin levels are rather abnormal. Still no giving blood for me then! Oopsy daisy. I'm putting this decrease in iron down to essentially being a vegetarian because meat is still making me feel poorly. Looks like I'll have to go on prescription iron for a while to make sure that I'm not a temporary narcoleptic whilst growing the bab and to also make sure I eat more spinach like Popeye for an extra boost. Just not looking forward to the side effects of the iron tablets (oh my Crohnie bowels).

But enough about that! Onto the nice things! Here's me #bumpingalong for week 19 in a maternity purchase from asos in a size 10, plus my new 'mum' barnet. Look at my bump...it's getting so big carrying my mango-sized baby. Ahh.

This baby is so active though! I find it all so amazing and surprising as I am only 19 weeks - I feel lucky to be experiencing such movement already.

We were starting the foundations of nesting for after our scan next week and there was one moment this weekend where our baby was going nuts! I didn't even have to get baby daddy's attention as it was so noticeable through my clothes. Our baby is definitely in a routine now, so I'm aware of when to keep an eye out for the dancing and can move my Kicks Count band around another number.

Am hoping to capture the moving on video and if I do I will share on here. It's magical/like something out of 'Alien'.

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Nursery Nesting

I went to Mothercare on the weekend and took myself by surprise with how I reacted when I walked in; I had a little lump in my throat. I AM SO EMOTIONAL.

It was probably due to being completely overwhelmed that I was actually (window) shopping for the baby in my tummy. The miniature human who will definitely be here in just over 19 weeks. And also because all of the clothes were so bloody small you couldn't help but squeal a bit as you walked by them.

You may think that all sounds ridiculous, but you have to bear in mind that I'm the type of gal who will buy a small deodorant in the queue at Boots, purely based on the fact it's a small version of the bigger cans. You can imagine how much I love travel products. Everything so little. Same seems to apply to baby clothes.

It was a worthwhile trip though as so far we've only really generically looked at nursery furniture online and haven't even started to look at specific brands for the travel systems, et al. There's so much to it all!

I think for the time being (as official nesting can begin end of July, post-scan) we're going to make a list of all things advised to have when having a child; taken from forums, parenting magazines, online advice. Then we can whittle it down to the following...

• What's essential and we couldn't possibly do without
• What isn't necessarily must-have, but would essentially fall under a life hack if you've got it
• What would be lovely to have if we had the space/money (one can dream)
• What we really don't need

I am so excited to start the proper foundations of creating our child's room. Colour swatches, cribs and cots, soft furnishings, playmats and bouncing chairs. Many elements to think of and so I'm making the most of my organisational head before my Baby Brain becomes 99% of me. 

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Onto my 18 weeks #bumpingalong and there are two photos this week: one I have already shared on my Instagram on Friday because the dress was new and I just wanted to show it off to the world. It was that kind of Friday feeling, in a dress. I just felt nice.

It's from asos maternity, size 10, but it's got a good amount of room to stretch into. It's a tricky business, buying maternity online. I'm going under the assumption that they might be a tad loose(ish) around the middle now but I'm sure it's only a matter of time until that is filled with baby bump!

My actual #bumpingalong photo from today and it's on location.

Wearing a non-maternity Boohoo dress in a size 10 - it's sort of like a smock which is why I can get away with it, bump included. And, well, clogs. I'm open to the variety of shoe styles!

I did a full wardrobe clear out over the weekend and broke my clothes down into three categories: have I worn it in the last year, will I want to wear it after baby, can I wear it as I grow? There was lots of trying on and moments where I felt more like Gus in Cinderella when his t-shirt pops back over his belly, but I think I got there in the end. A full spring cleanse and it felt good! I've allowed myself room to invest in a few more essential maternity items, kept clothes that are special to me but also got rid of things that I've been saying for too long that "I'll wear that again soon"...

It seems having a baby gets you all kind of pro-active and organised.

Only a few more weeks until the real nesting fun begins!

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See it. Pin it.

I'm going on full Pinterest binges and I need to be stopped. Well not really, let's not be too dramatic now. But I am having such fun.

It's a weird comforting activity to scroll through nursery and clothing ideas for the baby - especially because we don't know if it's a boy or a girl, there's double the amount to look through. I just love it.

I'd say I'm a bit of a creative soul anyway and I've always loved visual ideas, so knowing there's a set time frame for baby's arrival means I can make all the plans! But I'm also aware not to get too carried away; although we're in the safe zone after our 12 week scan, we still need to get the 20 week one done and know things are as fine as they can be.

Then the nursery decorating can begin!!

We've made a conscious decision to not have everything stereotypical cream and lemon. Just because we don't know what we're having, doesn't mean we can't have a lovely time with other colours! I'm also not a great believer in the whole pink for girls, blue for boys. Says who?! Coral, mint, monochrome, grey: a fab colour palette for a baby - girl or boy.

This approach would apply to the way we dress the baby as much as it would the nursery decoration, I think. Clothes for newborns are basic in their variety, but the patterns and colours...! I would also like a nod to the traditional in the style of clothes we dress them in. A good cable knit or romper suit perhaps? Beautiful.

Don't get me wrong, this is all very exciting and makes me even more broody if that's possible when you're pregnant? (WILL YOU LOOK AT THEIR LITTLE FACES. OH MY.)  Babies are little lumps of loveliness when they arrive and some of the pictures I've seen have made me do happy tears over the iPad. But whilst scrolling through, my grown up head hasn't ignored the pins for all things sensible and intimidating about being a first-time parent. What a journey that lies ahead...

*Googles parenting help books in preparation*

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Balderdash?

Old Wives Tales, ladies and gents.

You know the ones...sitting on a cold step gives you piles, don't go outside with wet hair as you'll catch a cold. And a new one I read today: never open the oven door when cooking a soufflé (!) None of which are deemed scientifically true, by the way.

But it's the old wives tales related to pregnancy that really tickle me. Most of them are for working out whether you're having a boy or girl and this is of great interest to me. As the end of my pregnancy is scheduled to the high hills due to my Crohn's, it's unlikely that we'll find out what we're having as that is the only part that will truly be a surprise for us. Of course this can change, so don't hold me to it!

So pass me the ring on a string as I try and work out through some of the more common tales if we're having a Harry or a Harriet...

1. Sweet or Salt
• Apparently craving all things sweet is a sign that you're having a girl, salty or protein-rich foods mean it could be a boy.
• I've gone off meat and all I want to eat is pick'n'mix style sweets, so I'm going team girl.
2. Morning Sickness
• A general sign of pregnancy, but excessive nausea and morning sickness can mean a baby girl.
• I had a terrible first trimester with nausea and sickness so I would definitely put me in the girls' camp for this one.
3. Pregnancy Glow
• Hair worthy of a Herbal Essence advert and a bright complexion could signify a little boy. Whereas bad skin and the missing 'glow' could be a little girl.
• Bit of both here...some people have said that the 'glow' is very much present, although my skin hasn't been great. 50/50.
4. Moody or Mellow
• More moody = girl. Chilled out = boy.
• Ha! If I was answering I'd say I've been quite chilled out, but if the other half was answering (and I was being honest with myself) then I'd probably be more moody. So girl.
5. Carrying High or Low
• Legend says that if you're carrying high you're carrying a girl and you'll be carrying low if you're carrying a boy.
• From the back I don't look preggers at all, so in that sense I'm bump up front. But its height? I'd have to say low, meaning there's a little boy in there.
6. Ring Test
• If the ring swings in a circular motion, 'tis a girl! If it's swinging back and forth/side to side, 'tis a boy.
• Well this was just ridiculous. It didn't really move at all! But when it did it went back and forth (did it though?!) in which case it's the boys' team.
7. Heart Rate
• If the baby's heart is beating faster than 140bpm, then there's a wee girl in the bump.
• Next scan isn't until mid-July so I'll have to keep a sneaky eye out. Maybe.

Based on the above, I haven't got a clue?! Out of 7 old wives tales I got 3 for girl, 2 for boy, one 50/50 and one TBC.

All in all we obviously just hope for a happy healthy baby, boy or girl. But it is good fun doing all the silly games to try and guess!

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Going to the chapel

And we're going to get married...

BECAUSE THE CHURCH IS BOOKED AS WELL. Super super exciting. 

We don't have an official timeline as such, because our wedding date isn't until Autumn 2017. But there are naturally a few things we'd like to get ticked off by Summer this year - just to give us a bit of breathing space until we're in the official 12 month countdown.

Those are: wedding date, church and venue, guest list, save the dates and to start the hunt for the dress.

As you know we have secured the wedding date, church and venue now. Well done us being grown ups and sorting that out *mini fist pump* The rest are very much tasks I know need doing, but find them a tad overwhelming for a variety of reasons. And I'll tell you for why...

Re save the dates, in an ideal world I'd like all the stationery for the day to match, which technically means deciding the colour schemes and what not we'll have in 18 months time. THAT'S A YEAR AND A HALF AWAY. So much can change! As I mentioned, I'm a massive Pinterest fan so have already started looking at these things, but it's important to me to have the save the dates/general wedding stationery be something representative of the fiancé and I. There's just so much choice out there! Stationery post to naturally follow as I enter the depths of arts and crafts and templates.

Guest list. Where do you even start? Some of the hints and tips online are brutal; 'Guestlist in 30 seconds', 'The Gueslist Game'. Makes it sound so trivial. Or maybe I'm looking into it too much? At the end of the day we just want to know that we were fortunate enough to spend our day with all the people that we love. How we get to that final list, I'm not yet sure! Any advice?

 Then The Dress. I've had one shopping experience thus far, and it was quite something! I treated it as a process of elimination as I whittled down what sort of styles that had caught my eye, to what works in real life. All things wedding dress will get a post of its own later on. How can it not?!

So as you can see, a few things that still need ticking off the list but all in good time my friends. All in good time.

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