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Thursday, 16 November 2017

All New

*I've amended the heading for my blog, as I'm not sure how long 'new' lasts with regards to being a new mama. And am now no longer wedding planning as I'm a wife. But Crohn's is still ever present. We can talk about that another time perhaps?

Since I last blogged...
  • We relocated from London to the Westcountry
  • Moved in with the in-laws
  • I came off of Maternity Leave and am now a full time working mother
  • We got married!
  • Had a minimoon, sans son
  • It's our son's first birthday

So everything's still a bit new for me.

Having a blogging hiatus seemed slightly more acceptable when I sat back and realised how much change was happening in my life. I also feel that I very much wildly underestimated what the above tasks would entail; in both a physical and mental sense.

We'd covered all major life events in a period of around 8 weeks - never mind the sister-in-law's wedding, cousin's wedding and all the hens and stags in between. I think by the end of October I had decided that 'time' wasn't a thing any more. It didn't exist. It either went way too fast or chunks of time seemed to disappear without warning; not enough hours in the day, etc. etc.

So you're probably thinking, everything seems to have calmed down a bit now - why hop back onto the blogging figurative bicycle and share my thoughts? Well...this is by no means a 'woe is me' post; however I've mentioned before that sometimes slapping the keyboard with my feelings is quite the therapeutic task in itself. I've been thinking a lot about blogging of late - whether it be to help actually process all the change that's gone on, the fact my son is reaching his first birthday milestone and all that it brings with it (parenting highs, lows, challenges and rewards), that my own little family has done a full relocation of living and work, life as a newlywed (and what that even means?!), or that my Crohn's is still a pain in the arse and it bothers me.

I want to post about each of the main topics over the next week or so, as I'm currently signed off work (there's a wee insight into how my Crohn's is doing! *collective sigh*) But having blogged on and off for the last four years, I know when things have been on the tougher side, writing has really helped. Equally when things are on the lovely side, it's really enjoyable to write and share those moments, too.

And what better way to start again, than in two days time when it's our first born's FIRST BIRTHDAY. He's been here a year already. Out of the womb and our bab for a whole 12 months. I still don't feel like I was pregnant long enough to have grown him, let alone see him doing proper human things on his own like an independent chap. But he's here. And he's going to be one this weekend.

For he's a jolly good fellow...

Side note: having had a full life change of geographical location, working situation, my marital status and introduction to parenthood - I'm now trying to work out what Hattie, etc. actually means. So I'll get back to you on that once I've worked out what direction this here blog is going in.

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Thursday, 9 February 2017

Feeling Crafty

Crohn's shenanigans aside, 2017 is the year of the wedding! Best get organising and preparing as a bride-to-be...

First stop of arts and crafts for this mama on mat leave was the Save the Dates. I wanted to make something that wasn't overly time consuming - what with a new baby and all - but was also something I'd be proud to send out to family and friends.

Debated for a good while whether the Save the Dates had to be in the same colour scheme, etc. of the overall wedding stationery - typically they're sent so far in advance that how can you even know what colours you'll have?! But because we had a baby a few months went by (around 9) when all things wedding got parked for the time being. So now we're not actually that far away and have a rough idea of colours and what not...
They're all done and dusted and posted, and I'm really pleased with how they turned out. Should probably point out that I ordered our stamp from The English Stamp Company, along with the maroon/wine coloured inkpad. Dead impressed with the quality of it (also a nice little keepsake as it's got our wedding date on). Will be ordering more stamps from there, for sure - most likely for decorative purposes on other wedding stationery.

But now? It's time to work on the invitations!

I did my research as to what a wedding invitation should include; the actual inviting of the guests, time, date, etc. plus any details and an RSVP. Best route forward (as I wanted to make them all myself still) was to make a wedding bundle; make bits little and often, as again, young baby to look after too. So back to Pinterest for all the inspiration and I think we've finally settled what they'll look like. Give or take creative license.
I'd like to point out that I'm pretty keen for all this stuff; as in bought my own guillotine dedicated. I also feel that I should actually get a loyalty card for Paperchase. So after perusing the internet and deciding 'the look' for our invites, I got my supplies in and started the arts and crafts all over again. Well I say that, all I've been able to physically do thus far is cut the A4 paper into A5; don't actually have any of the main info confirmed yet for our wedding day (!) All in good time, hey...
I have, however, downloaded a font and created the designs for the invites themselves. Took a good while but I think we've got there in the end. Now to find a printers...

Wedding crafting has brought me onto first name terms with our local courier, what with all the paper bits I've been ordering. Very British moments of "Ah yes, me again! I know, so many deliveries" *rolls eyes and commences inane chit chat as you sign for the parcel* But lots of paper brings lots of wedding maths, like if there are 104 guests in the daytime with the wedding on a weekend, what colour envelopes do we need? (FYI, I'm a whizz now at paper/envelope sizes if anyone has any questions.)

But similarly to the Save the Dates, when the invites are complete I shall be sure to show you!

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Breast Foot Forward

As I sat in bed this morning, night light on, feeding my son, I took a moment to enjoy and appreciate the close bond that breastfeeding has given me and my little boy over the last three months.

I always said that I wanted to be able to breastfeed exclusively for the first two weeks of my child's life - which I did - and that if I could, I'd like to get to six months; even if that was through combination feeding. But tried to maintain a 'what will be, will be' type-vibe (so many opinions and pressures for feeding a baby, as I'm sure you're aware. Is my baby being fed? Yes. Great. As you were then). I've been combination feeding for a good while now and I wouldn't change the routine we've fallen into, by any means. However I always thought that when I chose to stop breastfeeding it would be just that: my choice.
Mother Pukka X Parent Apparel jumper with all my parenting feels
Good ol' Crohn's and the rules that go with the scans and sedation that I need means that my breastfeeding days might be numbered. If ever there was a sign that we go full bottle, it's being told that for 48hrs after my MRI and at least 48hrs after the sedation, I cannot breastfeed. Granted I could express to keep my supplies up and running, but it works out at almost a week long with the appointments being so close together. So maybe I take stock and prepare for the changeover.

I'm just finding it all a tad tricky, you see...everything a double-edged sword. As much as I love the morning feed when it's all quiet and just bab and I, both half asleep, it's probably for the best that any energy I do have, I keep for myself so I can be a relatively functioning human being and be there to provide whatever my son needs.
*Haven't actually done this, FYI*
I'm also incredibly nervous about the forthcoming investigations; the MRI I thought had been parked for the colonoscopy, is in fact going ahead as they called me yesterday. So I had my pre-assessment yesterday and my bloods done (gosh, so tired), I have my scan next week and the colonoscopy the week after. BUT WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO FIND?! I know I'm not well. For God's sake it hurts to have the little man even lean on my tummy. Standing is also generally becoming a bit uncomfortable; it's easier to walk hunched over like Quasimodo, but it's also not a look I recommend when trying to push your pram.

We'll see though. I've done this before. I've definitely been through worse with my Crohn's. Got to keep the long game in mind; experiencing the changes in my son each day and that come Autumn, I'd like to be able to walk down the aisle without looking like I'm from the Hunchback of Notre-Dame.

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Monday, 6 February 2017

Return of the Ass Invasion

Not a sequel I'm particularly keen on, but it was only a matter of time until it was a knickers down/knees up appointment with the gastro team. And after what I thought was an MRI in the pipeline it appears that nope, let's get me in for a pre-assessment and colonoscopy in two weeks time. Joy. When the hospital called I thought it was to schedule in the aforementioned MRI - but it seems that my 'case', if you will, has been discussed in the clinic between the consultants and the best route forward is to get up all in my insides instead.

I know I'm not well at the moment (still essentially green in complexion because I'm so pale) and the bags under my eyes now have their own set of bags. I just get this massive anxiety over what they might find when they're routing round my intestines - especially now I've got the small human to be there for and to look after. I don't want to be the poorly mama. I want to be enjoying every mini milestone he hits as he grows and not need to abandon winding him because I need a sit down. He'll be three months on Friday and in the grips of teething so needless to say it's all just getting a tad overwhelming at present.

But despite my finding it tough at the moment, his beautiful little face makes every day seem that bit easier. Such a great distraction from the inevitable shits and pain.

I would just like to get the ass invasion over and done with and the medical plan put in place; I've got a wedding to plan and a baby to be with.

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