Journey to Bump

The road to pregnancy was an odd one for me. Not that there's a normal route to being preggers, mind. But before you read on, I don't want you thinking that this post is about the birds and the bees. It's more...the birds, the bees and the bowels? Bowels being the key part.

Having Crohn's and knowing that at some point in my life I wanted to have a baby, was a combination that I'd worried about since I was first diagnosed; I was advised to look at freezing my eggs (as fertility in Crohn's patients wasn't the best). The thing is, the thought of actually having children was so far away in my mind at the time, that it was strange to potentially make that decision at the end of my teen years. Who knew how I'd feel in five, ten years time?

I decided not to freeze my eggs. I felt that if having a family naturally was something that I was supposed to do, then it would happen. If not, then so be it. I'm a strong believer in a family being a family regardless of its set up and how you all got there.

When I got to an age and stage in my relationship where talking about having a baby was a real thing, I had so many questions for my consultants...Can I have children? If I am fortunate enough to have children, are they going to get my Crohn's? How would Crohn's effect my pregnancy? Will I be able to have a natural labour due to all my previous operations?

In a nutshell...I'm pregnant. So it seems that in the first instance, yes I am able to have children (well at least conceive). Whether this baby that I'm currently growing gets my Crohn's? That I don't yet know. Crohn's & Colitis UK's info on Pregnancy and IBD says that "5 out of 100 children born to couples where one parent has Crohn's might be expected to develop IBD. Even with genetic predisposition, other additional factors are probably needed to trigger IBD." We will just have to wait and see and hope that our baby is as healthy as can be.

With regards to Crohn's during my pregnancy - this has been a complete turn up for the books! It seems being with child is the best medicine! Who knew pregnancy would be so beneficial to my bowel?! As it stands my Crohn's has calmed down immensely; for the first time in years all my levels are settled and I'm not worried if I sneeze, I'll poo. If anything, it's quite the opposite. It's like my body has forgotten how to go to the toilet-toilet and that's the oddest sensation for someone that has, on average, probably shat 10-15 times a day for the last 7 years. If TMI, sorry. But, you know...Crohn's.

Fiancé and I are in the midst of talking to the antenatal team about my staying on Azathioprine and whether we go back on Humira. As unlike Aza, they're not yet sure on the use of Humira in the third trimester (although if urgent/required then they'll let you. Pros and cons, etc.) But it looks like I may not need Humira after all if things stay the way they are!

Then that leads me to the last question in my little list of worries: labour. The grand finale to this whole musical that is pregnancy. Actually getting the miniature person out of me. Gosh.

I won't be allowed to do any pushing as - to quote my Crohn's surgeon - "my arse would fall out" and I for one am not ok with that and neither are they. We're all also keen to make sure that me and baby are safe, however that needs to be done. So elective cesarean it is. Scary thing is, is that our c-section date is already booked in! I now know categorically that I'll have babe in arms at 38 + 4.

Unless the little human makes an early arrival.

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#MaternityStyle

This is a whole other ball game.

Now I like clothes. In fact, I bloody love them. And as I've said before, I've had my fair share of sartorial challenges with my ever-changing body shape due to Crohn's.

Maternity style however?! Apparently if you're pregnant you can only buy clothes that are in the outline of a small marquee. And Summer fashion isn't a thing as everything seems to have to have a sleeve. It's not like your body temperature is already higher than normal or anything.

Unless you're Blake Lively at Cannes 2016. HELLO MAMA. She absolutely killed it. What a selection of clothes. Effortless in looking glorious in her pregnancy.

Slay...

I decided that for my maternity look, or #MaternityStyle if you will, that I was going to fall more in the camp of unitards than Peter Pan-collared matron tents. Seeing Blake's outstanding selection of outfits (which would have looked just as marvellous without the bump) makes me determined to have fun with dressing my new bump, as I enter my second trimester and maternity clothes shopping is now a must. Plus the second trimester is by all accounts the nicest of the three...my time to 'bloom'. Blooming wonderful.

I imagine that the further along I go in pregnancy, the more I will embrace anything loose because all I will want to be is comfortable. But I'm not going to be heavily pregnant until Autumn. And that's when everyone wants to layer up and look like a potato anyway.

Outfit Goals. Not so much.

So now to today, where I have a day off from work and I head to Oxford St to tackle this whole new world of clothing. What fabulous creations can I come up with? If it all goes to plan then a post full of pictures will naturally follow. And if it doesn't and I end up having a full pregnancy meltdown because my waist isn't a thing anymore, then a post of my emotional situation will follow instead.

Wish me luck!

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Fit to Burst

I've started writing a couple of posts over the last week or so. And then stopping. And then revisiting. And never finishing them. This was one of them for a good while.

It's because I've been BURSTING WITH NEWS that I couldn't talk about. Not just yet. I had so much running around in my head that I needed to write down all my thoughts...But now I can talk freely about the most exciting thing that's happened to me. That's happening to me. To us, as a couple.

The fiancé and I are expecting a mini person.

We are having a baby!

Even typing out that sentence is the most amazing thing. We've made a tiny person; a miniature human growing inside me and that is bloody incredible.

#BumpWatch begins as I can finally be loud and proud at work. BABY.

I'm aware that it is Biology 101, but the whole science of how a person is made and the things I've learnt even in these first 13 weeks blows my mind. It's fascinating. And it's just the start of the journey into parenthood for us both. It's also another reason why I wanted to start blogging again really! I'm keen to share my experiences with pregnancy, but also pregnancy with Crohn's.

For someone who can talk the hind legs off a donkey and hold a conversation with myself, not being able to talk openly about ALL THE EXCITING THINGS I'M FEELING AND THE CHANGES THAT ARE GOING ON has been torture. But we're in the safe zone now. We've got a few midwife appointments in the bag and we've had our first scan. It's real life people. It's happening.

We've shared the news now with all our family and friends and the response has been overwhelming in the most loveliest of ways. So much love. It really is astounding and makes you realise how many special people you have in your life and how lucky you are to have them.

I just feel like I'm floating with joy. Christ. Will you listen to me?! All hormonal and emotional and rambling about love. I'm such a happy mess right now.

I am pregnant.

And we are completely and utterly over the moon!

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World IBD Day

Today is the 19th May and that means one thing...it's World IBD Day!!

This year Crohn's & Colitis UK have made it their mission to highlight the importance of Specialist IBD Nurses, as they make such a great difference to patients' lives.

I remember when I met my first IBD Nurse back in 2009 at Chelsea and Westminster. Her name was Stephanie and she was the support I needed at a time when it seemed like my whole world was about to change. She spoke to me like a person - not just a hospital number - and understood that there was an emotional side to my diagnosis and that it was important to know she was there if and when I needed her. Her role for me at the time included everything from a long conversation at my appointments, ending them with that reassuring squeeze; right up to sending her a text message when I wasn't sure if I was A&E worthy with one of my many abscesses.

I'm now in a fortunate position again where at my current hospital there are a team of Specialist IBD Nurses, with a dedicated phone number should I have any queries about my care or condition. But I know I'm one of the lucky ones to have these amazing people at my disposal. There are countless IBD patients who are yet to experience how beneficial Specialist IBD Nurses can be.

According to the Crohn's & Colitis UK website, across the UK there are at least 100,000 people with IBD that don't have access to a Specialist IBD Nurse. With 63% of IBD services in the UK unable to meet the needs of everyone affected.

"[Specialist IBD Nurses] are a lifeline, providing vital information and support in the most appropriate way for each patient. The care they deliver is invaluable and they help hundreds and thousands of people cope with this devastating disease. We need to shout loudly the importance of Specialist IBD Nurses to ensure more patients have access to them."

Their campaign 'More IBD Nurses - Better Care' still needs a few signatures to reach their goal of 1000 people. Please take a look and if it matters to you, please sign!

There are around 300,000 of us in the UK, and millions more around the world living with IBD: we need to use #worldIBDday to continue to spread awareness and make a difference where we can.

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Across the UK, at least 100,000 people with Crohn’s and Colitis don't have access to a Specialist IBD Nurse and 63% of IBD services in the UK don't have enough Specialist Nurses to meet the needs of everyone affected. - See more at: https://www.crohnsandcolitis.org.uk/get-involved/world-ibd-day#sthash.VPtKm7VK.dpuf

That’s why we’re asking you to go purple on World IBD Day, Thursday 19 May, to help raise awareness of the 300,000 people in the UK, as well as millions more around the world, who are living with Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD).
This year we also want to tell everyone about the importance of Specialist IBD Nurses who make such a big difference to patients’ lives.
Across the UK, at least 100,000 people with Crohn’s and Colitis don't have access to a Specialist IBD Nurse and 63% of IBD services in the UK don't have enough Specialist Nurses to meet the needs of everyone affected.
They are a lifeline, providing vital information and support in the most appropriate way for each patient. The care they deliver is invaluable and they help hundreds of thousands of people cope with this devastating disease. We need to shout loudly about the importance of Specialist IBD Nurses to ensure that more patients have access to them.
By joining our 'More IBD Nurses - Better Care campaign, you'll be lending your voice to call for better access to Specialist IBD Nurses, meaning better care across the UK.
- See more at: https://www.crohnsandcolitis.org.uk/get-involved/world-ibd-day#sthash.VPtKm7VK.dpuf

That’s why we’re asking you to go purple on World IBD Day, Thursday 19 May, to help raise awareness of the 300,000 people in the UK, as well as millions more around the world, who are living with Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD).
This year we also want to tell everyone about the importance of Specialist IBD Nurses who make such a big difference to patients’ lives.
Across the UK, at least 100,000 people with Crohn’s and Colitis don't have access to a Specialist IBD Nurse and 63% of IBD services in the UK don't have enough Specialist Nurses to meet the needs of everyone affected.
They are a lifeline, providing vital information and support in the most appropriate way for each patient. The care they deliver is invaluable and they help hundreds of thousands of people cope with this devastating disease. We need to shout loudly about the importance of Specialist IBD Nurses to ensure that more patients have access to them.
By joining our 'More IBD Nurses - Better Care campaign, you'll be lending your voice to call for better access to Specialist IBD Nurses, meaning better care across the UK.
- See more at: https://www.crohnsandcolitis.org.uk/get-involved/world-ibd-day#sthash.VPtKm7VK.dpuf

That’s why we’re asking you to go purple on World IBD Day, Thursday 19 May, to help raise awareness of the 300,000 people in the UK, as well as millions more around the world, who are living with Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD).
This year we also want to tell everyone about the importance of Specialist IBD Nurses who make such a big difference to patients’ lives.
Across the UK, at least 100,000 people with Crohn’s and Colitis don't have access to a Specialist IBD Nurse and 63% of IBD services in the UK don't have enough Specialist Nurses to meet the needs of everyone affected.
They are a lifeline, providing vital information and support in the most appropriate way for each patient. The care they deliver is invaluable and they help hundreds of thousands of people cope with this devastating disease. We need to shout loudly about the importance of Specialist IBD Nurses to ensure that more patients have access to them.
By joining our 'More IBD Nurses - Better Care campaign, you'll be lending your voice to call for better access to Specialist IBD Nurses, meaning better care across the UK.
- See more at: https://www.crohnsandcolitis.org.uk/get-involved/world-ibd-day#sthash.VPtKm7VK.dpuf

Going to the chapel

And we're going to get married...

BECAUSE THE CHURCH IS BOOKED AS WELL. Super super exciting. 

We don't have an official timeline as such, because our wedding date isn't until Autumn 2017. But there are naturally a few things we'd like to get ticked off by Summer this year - just to give us a bit of breathing space until we're in the official 12 month countdown.

Those are: wedding date, church and venue, guest list, save the dates and to start the hunt for the dress.

As you know we have secured the wedding date, church and venue now. Well done us being grown ups and sorting that out *mini fist pump* The rest are very much tasks I know need doing, but find them a tad overwhelming for a variety of reasons. And I'll tell you for why...

Re save the dates, in an ideal world I'd like all the stationery for the day to match, which technically means deciding the colour schemes and what not we'll have in 18 months time. THAT'S A YEAR AND A HALF AWAY. So much can change! As I mentioned, I'm a massive Pinterest fan so have already started looking at these things, but it's important to me to have the save the dates/general wedding stationery be something representative of the fiancé and I. There's just so much choice out there! Stationery post to naturally follow as I enter the depths of arts and crafts and templates.

Guest list. Where do you even start? Some of the hints and tips online are brutal; 'Guestlist in 30 seconds', 'The Gueslist Game'. Makes it sound so trivial. Or maybe I'm looking into it too much? At the end of the day we just want to know that we were fortunate enough to spend our day with all the people that we love. How we get to that final list, I'm not yet sure! Any advice?

 Then The Dress. I've had one shopping experience thus far, and it was quite something! I treated it as a process of elimination as I whittled down what sort of styles that had caught my eye, to what works in real life. All things wedding dress will get a post of its own later on. How can it not?!

So as you can see, a few things that still need ticking off the list but all in good time my friends. All in good time.

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Destination Unknown

One of our engagement presents that has since gone on to become the bible of our wedding, is a beautiful Wedding Planner. It has six sections;

1. Wedmin
2. Diary/planner
3. Budgets and costs
4. Guests and gifts
5. Dressing up 
6. The reception 

And even within those it breaks it down further, so you really can't miss any aspect of your wedding day - whether you choose to plan something for every part or not.

Up until that point, we had all the tools to start planning and a date decided. But no venue. As I mentioned in my last post, we both wanted to find somewhere that gave us that 'wow' feeling, thing is, we just didn't really know what type of venue that was going to be.

We decided to spend two days visiting a variety of venues, making sure each one was different from the last. These included a couple of hotels, a room in a castle, a stately home and a barn. We were also conscious not to overwhelm ourselves with information as these things can get quite samey.

Fortunately there was one venue that we saw where we both had that moment. The this is the one moment. But not to jump the gun, we returned home and went through all the paperwork we'd accumulated over the two days. I mean, we could at least enquire about them being available on our chosen date? And maybe see when things need to be tied up by in order to make it ours? Ok ok. Why not?!

One thing that has boggled my mind though, is that through all the enquiries we've done, how everywhere seems to be inundated with queries for 2017 weddings - more so than 2016. Where are all this year's couples? Hiding ready for 2017? You're making me panic that I'm not organised enough!

So long story short, we have now confirmed our venue. IT'S HAPPENING.

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The Wedding Planner

...I am not. But an organised person, I am and I went into this wedding planning thing with the best of intentions. My inner Monica Geller and OCD traits combining to make a bride-to-be who's totally got her shit together.

Something like that anyway!

After being completely overwhelmed with love and congratulations from our nearest and dearest, we decided to enjoy the engagement bubble before the wedmin began (and yes, that is an official term)

As part of the engagement loveliness there were also many a wedding magazine thrust my way; this is where the Monica/OCD part of me flourished. And my love of stationery. Tabbed pages for reference, including dream wedding dresses to venues, even down to the types of cutlery (!) You can definitely see why the wedding industry in the UK is so lucrative when there are just so many options - no stone left unturned when it comes to planning your perfect day.

But before we got all over-excited, it made sense that the fiancé and I tried to plan when we were going to get married. How do people even decide this?! It's such an odd thought process, trying to decide a time of year that you're particularly fond of. I can honestly say it hadn't crossed my mind before now.

So we decided our wedding date the following way: both our birthdays are in Spring, not a fan of a Summer wedding (and you can never guarantee the weather anyway), even if we went for November/January the venue will likely still feel Christmassy. Kind of left us by default September or October. And OH! Our anniversary is in October... Next year is our 10 years... And the date falls on a Saturday. Ta-da! It's decided. Our wedding date has been indirectly picked for us. How twee.

Now our date had been decided it was a case of venue hunting. This is where hitched.co.uk was super helpful, as it really is a minefield. You can look through all the magazines in the world, and pin as many images as you like on Pinterest, but I think until you walk into a venue and have that 'wow' moment, you won't really know what you're after.

So. 18 months to get organised. Plenty of time!

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Name Changer

Now you're all up to date on what's happened since I was last regularly blogging, it gives me an opportunity to tell you why my blog has a new name, new feel and new topics.

I touched on it in the 'About Me' section, but essentially it's that there is more to me than having Crohn's - hence the name change. Hattie, etc. is more encompassing of me and the areas of my life, whereas Harriet's Got Crohn's as a name suggests that my illness was what made me up as a person.

I started my blog as a way for me to talk to everyone and no one about what I was feeling with regards to my Crohn's and the challenges that it threw at me. It also served as a great sounding board when I was having to deal with my biggest operation to date. It was a great tool in coping and it let me connect with a variety of people who were taking the time to read what I typed out.

Now however, I'm in a place where there are many exciting things that lie ahead and I want to write about these areas also. Remember as well that I am yet to be in remission - so it's not like I've got my rose-tinted glasses on! It just makes sense to me to have a blog that reflects where I am in my life now.

The shift in my mindset most likely began from being more than happy with the care I receive at Guys & St Thomas', so everything health-wise is less of a worry than it ever has been before. It could be down to the fact I love my job and I never really feel like I'm at work. Or it could be down to my family and friends and how despite all I've been through, they're still there supporting me and they should know that they fucking rock.

Also being that little bit older and more secure in my own skin has merely confirmed that I know it's ok to struggle when having a flare up, and that I can also make the most of what life throws at me. Good or bad. Christ, I'm almost 28 which as everyone knows is basically 30...and then you're middle aged. I've got things to do!

Don't fret though as there will of course be posts about my Crohn's, as it certainly isn't going anywhere, but now they'll sit alongside other topics too. And that's really bloody exciting for me!

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It's only been 2 years

And my hasn't it flown by?!

A brief update wouldn't go amiss, otherwise you're probably wondering why do I even need to start reading this blog? Who even is this rambling person that just pops up online after a two year hiatus?

Well that person be me, my friend. Harriet, off of Harriet's Got Crohn's that has now decided to be called Hattie online. Sure. Let me try it out. See if it fits. And so far, I'm quite the fan.

It would be easy to say I don't know where to begin, but then that doesn't really help much with an 'update' per se. So maybe it's best I do a quick run through on the Crohn's to get the medical bit out the way and then we can talk about all the fun things that have happened and are happening!

So...

Can't remember what operation number I was on when I last blogged, but I've now had 14. Most recent being another pain in the ass one in December 2015. Care still under the Gastro team at Guys & St Thomas' which is hands down one of the best hospitals I have ever had the experience of being looked after by. They couldn't be more aware of what's going on with me individually and when I'm there I don't feel like just another hospital number. I feel like a person.

To be honest, that's probably why I haven't felt the need to blog for such a long time as - although I haven't been well - I've had a much better support system from the people qualified to help me when I'm ill. And it took me moving hospitals countless times to realise that it shouldn't be an unusual feeling; to feel like you're being looked after when you need it, by the professionals who are there to help you. So yes. Still very much team Guys & St Thomas'.

Meds-wise, I still struggle with the whole Humira injections and have been told off many a time for bad adherence. So we're currently on hold with that whilst they see if Azathioprine can do the job on its own for a while. If it can, ace! No more spring-loaded pens into the abs of steel (ha! Who am I kidding?! No steel here) Will make sure I keep you in the loop with that one. Meds, not my six pack development as that is totally not a thing.

Talking all things body...you may recall a post or 9 about the weight gain from all the medicines I've had over the years. Well the heaviest I got to was 75kg. Now at only 160cm it doesn't take a genius to work out that I was past the point of plump. Then the fickle finger of fate stepped in and through another flare up I went back down to my natural weight of 53kg. Only problem was that it was in a period of three months - so all eyes on me from a medicinal point of view. Doctors everywhere. All the tests. But since coming off the multitude of meds my weight has plateaued and we're doing ok!

No remission officially as of yet, but hey, it's already been 7 years since diagnosis and no remission. What's another 7 or so!?

I think that covers it from a health point of view. I'm sure if it hasn't I'll be blogging about it now I have definitely got the blogging bug back whilst typing this *excitable scream*

Hmm. Now what else has happened since I've blogged last. Oh I don't know. OH YEAH. I GOT ENGAGED.

Officially a grown up. A Mrs-to-be.

All very exciting. All very romantic. Many things to plan. Many things to think about. So many wonderful things to look forward to over the next year.

And that's where the glamour of Crohn's brings you straight back down to earth; when you look at wedding dresses online and consider the ease in which you can go to the toilet toilet. What a bride I'll be.

But now you'll all be there as part of the journey, too.

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