Pregnancy Lent

Kind of. We're now less than 40 days and 40 nights and there will probably be a lot of pancakes consumed by yours truly.

Officially (as I type) we have 37 days to go until our c-section date and the list of things to do/buy before the human arrives is getting that bit smaller; which means it's getting that bit more real still. I said at the start of blogging about my pregnancy that although it's Biology 101 for how a baby is made and grows, it is still one of the most fascinating things I have ever experienced in my life. I still consider myself extremely lucky to have had a relatively 'normal' pregnancy with regards to my Crohn's calming down - and if it comes back once bab is out, then I will cross that bridge when I get there. But at least I've been able to feel like I have carried this baby with little to no complications thus far. Just can't let my arse fall out at the final hurdle, to quote my gastro surgeon.

Talking of bottoms...seamless link...

I think more needs to be said about HOW CONSTIPATED YOU GET IN THE THIRD TRIMESTER. Let alone how you feel like Windy Miller with the air just falling out of you, top and bottom. I'm a disgrace. Thank god I've been with my other half for 9 years, because the romance has well and truly died recently! I'm not used to having bowel movements like a bus service on a Sunday in a village. My bowels pre-preg were a 10-15 times a day situation. I don't know how to deal with this once a day malarkey!? How do you people do it? I feel like it's just not enough. But hey, if bab slows down my digestive system to a snail's pace, then that is the less frequent shitting hand I've been dealt. It frees up so much time! Although saying that, the toilet dashes have been replaced by toilet dashes...just for a number one instead. But still so much quicker! Even if you need to do all the weeing, what with the baby pushing down on the organs. And sneezing still makes me nervous, mind - ruddy pelvic floors *squeezes muscles*

Did a version of a #bumpingalong for my 33 weeks (got to get the lift pics in whilst I can) and I'm kitted out in head to toe maternity Topshop. Even gave a nursing bra a run out and I felt so free. Big ol' wobbly mama-to-be boobies. And despite my breasts being the largest they've ever been in my life, my baby bump is so much further out - hence my human pyramid effect.

So yep, this week and it's my last week of work; all finished on Thursday. I will do a final work-based #bumpingalong and a post about maternity leave, as I'm already finding the concept quite odd. It's a real mix of emotions.

But for now, I think I've done a good bit of oversharing...

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All Change

My last post didn't really seem the right setting to casually show you a picture of me at 22 weeks #bumpingalong so I gave it a new one of its own.

The look I've gone for today has indirectly ended up looking like a burnt orange with two toothpicks for legs. Sure.

Getting bigger by the day. Obviously.

Maternity (bargain) shorts from H&M which actually only cost me £7, despite the label and protests from the checkout lady that it should in fact be £24.99. Paired with a non-maternity t-shirt because I just needed to be comfortable with bump today after this morning's escapades. Both in a size 10.

This photo has also shown me how much I am in need of a tan as I'm almost see through. Luckily we have our BABY MOON to look forward to next week! Roll on the non-alcoholic Sangria in the Spanish sunshine. Even ordered some maternity swimwear today and if you're lucky I might show you all. Oh aye.

So many changes happening to my body though. Some glorious that you can't help but be in awe of what the human body can do. And some, well...you can't help but be in awe of what the human body can do. Just for very different reasons.

Let me break it down for you, with some bodily highlights.

Baby Moving
As my last post pointed out, our baby has been moving for a while now and there were a few developments this morning that reiterated to me that it's not always as straight forward as you think. But good news is, baby is well and that's what matters. Hopefully the other half and I will still get to see the movements get bigger, despite our baby hiding behind my placenta. Yum.

Breasts
These are out of control. They've grown like three sizes in a matter of weeks and now they're just all over the place and under my armpits and simply ginormous. You can call me Tits McGee. Are they going to keep growing the rest of the time? If so they will undoubtedly end up larger than my head and I don't know how veiny they can be before they're essentially green in colour. And I'm not even starting to lactate yet...

Wind
No one told me how windy you'd get when preggers. I've always been of the upper wind section with Crohn's (although sometimes pretend the bathroom is a soundproof room as an orchestra falls out my ass). Yet the noises coming out of me are shameful. No odour. Just noise. Although sometimes no noise; just air slowly escaping like from a deflating balloon. It's terribly embarrassing. But that - if anything - is where my Crohn's is an advantage: awkward flatulence is not a new situation. It's just the volume, in every sense when pregnant; noise and amount.

Baby Bump
I still very much from the back look like a regular gal who is not with child but then when I turn around it's a baby. Here it is! The bump is getting bigger every day and I'm awfully concerned about just how far out it's going to go by the time I'm at my 38 weeks, just from a practical side of things. How do I even stand up straight then? At least we'll have these #bumpingalong posts to look back on for comparison!

Piles
Now I had to put this in because it made me laugh so much. I read in one of the pregnancy books that around these last few weeks of pregnancy (so week 17-22 ish) piles can begin to become a problem for ladies. The best thing about what I read was one of the old wives tales that supposedly 'helps'. Ready? Cut a potato wedge and stick it between your bumcheeks on the area that's sore. It was slightly more eloquently put than that - but the imagery! A cold potato wedge in your bottom! If anyone gives this a go, I hope it works. I'm clearly not from the medical profession but hey if you're into that sort of thing...

I'll be hiding in a dark room now - but these things needed to be said.

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WE HAVE MOVEMENT!

I'm 15 weeks and experienced the first fluttering of baby movement this weekend.

OH. MY. A movement independent of me, but in me. Mind blown once more.

It was a strange experience as the first time I felt it I thought it was probably wind (because, that happens when you're pregnant you know. All the flatulence. So glamorous)

Thought I won't make a fuss, keep calm because it might not be baby. But when it happened again the following day I was like yes...this is my baby moving and I can feel it. The joy it gave me knowing that things seem to be ok if the baby is wiggling around!? But how to explain what it felt like?

The best way I can describe it is like a flutter - a small popping against the skin - a bubble.

I believe I'm heading into the time frame where these little flutterings will become more frequent and in the coming weeks it'll be a definite that's my baby moving.

For now though I'm happy with my little internal bubbles because it means that I know that my baby is having a little dance. And that's simply magical.

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Hmmm...

Well today was unusual, to say the least.

Apparently the sigmoidoscopy procedure would take 5-10 mins, so I was seen almost immediately after arrival to the ol' Endoscopy department.

Luckily I had a good friend keep me company (and potential chaperone in case I got drugged up) and she brought...Louis! Homemade Walsh wonderfulness. Please see below haha. Inside joke, apologies.

*Skip past usual prep admin*

I'm gowned up, in the room, knees to chest and ready to go. Ish.

I persuaded them to give me gas and air based on previous experiences - to which the nurse replied "women can give babies using just this. You will be fine!" I suppose in a twisted way my labour prep is well on its way!! (Don't worry significant other, no rush)

Ok. I was in there 40 minutes in the end. Standard Harriet timing then?

Unfortunately due to my numerous procedures the original camera couldn't actually get up ze bottom.  The initial scope was straight...my insides were bendy. So we had to change to a flexible scope to get round the bend. Regardless, I have found a clip art of the situation I eventually found myself in...

Good view? That's questionable. But I guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder hahaha.

To add insult to injury, as they were prepping the second flexible camera they left the other one on the bed. Next to my bum. This meant my behind was on THREE SCREENS AROUND THE ROOM. So I did what any self respecting person does, and just kept breathing in gas to let the lightheadedness overtake the shame.

But there is good news!

The majority of my large intestine is clear. But we also couldn't see any cause of the bleeding. And obviously by we I totally mean the doctor. I had no idea what was going on. Gassssss.

However he did say that I probably should have just had a full colonoscopy as he went so far round my body. And the pain! Oh the pain! But means to an end. You're already in there...might as well keep going?! Gassssss.

They did find a microscopically small haemorrhoid but it didn't look like it had been bleeding (?) At all. They took some biopsies anyway (odd tugging sensation. Never get used to that) maybe that will offer up an explanation?

All very strange. But course of action is to stick with the higher dose of pred and reduce by a tablet each week. And hopefully that's the end of that.

So all that was left to do was to deflate. For want of a better turn of phrase. And do a stool sample before my next appointment, which meant make my way home on public transport with a bedpan to poo in - except it was just that bit too big for my handbag. Ace.

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Flare Mare

It's been a while...and boy had I forgotten how much it sucks when flaring up!

I'm grateful that is has been a number of months since my last flare up. But the symptoms have a very sneaky way of suddenly wiping you out;

Extremely tired, nauseous, heavy limbs, excessive toilet trips, and oh the PAIN.

Back on Prednisolone, 6/day for two weeks *awaits the moonface* ohhh such fun.

And talking of 'such fun', I went to see Miranda Hart at the O2 last week. Many lols to be had! (Pluuuunge. Gallop. Moist)

But there was a particular sketch which fits nicely into this post...

She was on a first date, dancing at a club and suddenly buckled in pain. An ambulance was called, she thought she had appendicitis and her date was naturally panicked. As she recoiled to try and keep the pain away, she pulled her body tighter and tighter into a ball. And then... a massive trump. All the pain had been caused by trapped wind. That's all it was - wind. Needless to say, she made a swift exit!

Oh but what I would have given for my pain to disappear by trumping. Trumpity, trump, trump. But no. Crohn's doesn't work like that unfortunately.

So it's working from home for a bit, staying on top of my meds and hoping that the flare up calms the bloody hell down so I can get back to normal. Not asking for much haha.

In the meantime, here's two wind-related Miranda clips: Candle and Curtsey. This particular clip is about 2 seconds long, so please (if you have a moment) scroll to 0:35 for it hahaha Sausage Meat. Always make me laugh!

But remember, all you IBDers out there...

Ciao for now
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PS: Thanks to Louise for sharing the top photo on Facebook, which was via Christina Matthies of The Crohn's and Ulcerative Colitis Diaries