As I mentioned a few weeks back, I've been feeling baby movement for a good while now - established timings and a pattern to keep an eye on. Even being able to see the moving through my clothes. But over the last few days, the movements seemed less often and when they did happen in the usual time slot, they just seemed so faint. I've been beside myself with worry the last day or two and it culminated in me being awake last night willing our baby to do a big movement so I knew all was fine.
You just feel useless. And then you worry that your body isn't working properly and that your baby isn't going to be all right. So when you pass a time frame where usually things would happen and there's nothing...it just made me so anxious. Especially as a first-time mum-to-be as I have absolutely zero experiences to base this all on, so naturally you look for reassurance where you can.
My doctor felt my bump this morning and said it was the right size and felt as it should for my gestation. And the main thing for me was that I also got to hear our baby's heartbeat. I can't describe the relief of knowing that baby was doing ok and things were actually as it should be.
Turns out that looking back over my scan notes, my placenta is positioned anterior high which means it's at the front of my uterus, as opposed to the back; when the placenta is at the front it can sometimes cushion the movement of the baby. So it seems likely that our hyperactive mini human went on a wander and moved to a place where even though they're moving all the time still, they've softened the blow of kicking me hard. They just put us through the mill emotionally instead of physically!
I spoke to my midwives this morning and they let me know that I'd done exactly the right thing in following it up with a medical professional. At the risk of sounding silly, I was all sorts of emotional, worrying and I just wanted to someone to tell me that I was being dramatic and it was fine - again searching for that reassurance.
My other half was so incredibly supportive with all this going on, too. Speaking as the pregnant one in our relationship, I've had to have moments to sit back and realise that he only knows how I'm feeling with baby based on what I share with him. He can't tell the difference in feeling of a flutter and more substantial kick. Let alone if those patterns of feeling have changed? So for him to be able to keep me as calm as possible when really he has no idea either, just makes me appreciate him even more.
What an anecdote to share when they're older: "Ahh, do you remember that time you played hide and seek with my placenta? You rascal, you."
But yes, at least now we know that our little one is actually doing wonderfully. They just made their mummy and daddy temporarily shit themselves.
PS: Kicks Count do a band you can use to keep track of periods of movement. Super helpful in these situations, especially if the baby brain has kicked in. And their website is full of such useful info as well.
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| My Kicks Count wristband on arrival |