So I'm one abscess in, have sat with the Gastro specialist at Chelsea & West and I'm awaiting my first colonoscopy in order to find out what's going on with me and my body.
I have to say, quite honestly, the colonoscopy was one of the funniest yet strangest hospital experiences I've had. For starters, nothing quite prepares you for the amount your body expels the day before your procedure!
And then there's the whole awake sedation. Which essentially is feeling completely off your face, slurring your words and laughing because you know you sound drunk, but keep talking because it's funny. Funny until you realise you currently have a camera up your bottom. Oh and you can see your intestines on the screen next to you.
To give you a general idea of how it went:
"You have a large intestine like a helter-skelter." How fabulous! And we're not even half way round...
"It's also severely ulcerated." Again, I woop with delight at this news.
"Ahh. Seems we can't get through into your small intestine as it is very narrow." Well that has made my day.
OR NOT.
I get wheeled out, sobered up and I'm now sitting on a bed waiting for them to come and talk to me, tell me in detail what they've found. More so because details from during the procedure seem to have got lost in the fuzzy haze that is awake sedation.
"We have taken some biopsies. But it seems conclusive that you have Crohn's disease."
Cool. So what is that exactly?!
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