I have just returned from the hospital and I am absolutely livid. Fuming.
I am running over the conversation with the doctor over and over in my head, and doing the typical thing of 'if only I'd said that'. Hindsight is a wonderful thing.
What is NOT a wonderful thing, is coming away from the hospital after waiting stupid amounts of time to be seen by someone, to then get told I will need to shit in a pot and have a scan within the next 6 weeks. Oh and here's a slip for a follow up appointment at the end of August.
I'm close to punching my computer in frustration.
AND THEN to make matters worse, we decided to go over my scans...
You know, the ones where they mentioned I may have an abdominal fistula? Shed some light on why I'm always so bloated and in levels of pain that need Oramorph to ssh them?
Well it's a no from him!
Because apparently it looks like it's just a bit of muscle inflammation...Or he said maybe it's to do with the weight I've put on...
How fucking kind of you to point that out. It's not like I'm unhappy putting weight on or anything. It's also OBVIOUSLY stupid of me to think that something must actually be wrong with my stomach. But you carry on, even though I haven't seen you since before October. Carry on chap.
You're right. All of the pain and struggle is just the weight I've put on. So yes, let's get an appointment for me to see a dietician.
I didn't realise being fat meant that your stomach:body ratio went completely disproportionate, you were always bloated and you are hard in certain areas of your stomach. That it made you feel sick once you've eaten and your poo still sounds like you're weeing. This is clearly down to the weight I've gained! And how convenient it all got worse after my operation!
Even the boyf tried to help me out as he could see I was getting agitated and teary. Nothing makes you more frustrated than when you say your piece, followed by 'Mmm yes. I appreciate that.'
NO YOU DON'T. NO YOU REALLY DON'T. Otherwise you would not let me stay this way for the next few months.
The way forward? More investigation. And for now? I just have to stay exactly as I am - ol' chubby me - until I get scanned within the next 6 weeks. And even then have to wait at least a month after that until I speak to someone face-to-face again.
Thank you ever so fucking much for absolutely nothing.
X